Thanks for stopping by. If you've found this blog, you have probably seen my posts on PUA forums or been invited to join a PUA lair in the Portland area. I started this blog to track my own progress but also to share information with others. I like writing and it's an awesome way for me to cement ideas, self-analyze situations, and target areas of self-improvement.
If you want to follow some of my accomplishments in pickup, start by reading the field reports. They are listed to the right in reverse chron. Note: I started writing these on other internet forums before I started my blog, and recently moved them all here as some of those forums have started to die off or become cancerous chump-holes.
I am also writing articles on pickup, online dating and related topics. One such article is Everything You Thought You Knew About Internet Dating is Crap. If you are new to pickup, you may benefit from learning a little bit of Pickup Terminology. I'll post more articles as I finish them up.
Enjoy!
Monday, March 22, 2010
Pickup Terminology
Just in case some of you folks are new to pickup and need to get some of the lingo down, here are a few of the more common terms:
AFC: Average frustrated chump
AMOG: Alpha Male of the Group.
Bounce: Moving a girl to a new location as a form of time bridging.
Choad (also chode): A guy who stands around acting like a dope. Also v. to choad
Close: Closing with a girl can include any number of important milestone acts, including a #close (getting a phone number), k-close (kissing), or f-close (sex).
Cocky/playful: The outwardly sexual, funny, borderline inappropriate state a PUA enters when sarging in the field. Cocky/playful attitudes generally draw interest from women, who may be used to men who fawn over them or are intimidated by beautiful women.
Day2: The first date you have with a girl after a successful pickup.
DHV: Demonstration of higher value. Any part of your routine that increases your social value
DLV: Demonstration of lower value. Any act which diminishes your social value
False Time Constraint (FTC): A statement made to a girl or to a set upon opening which gives the impression of a willingness or need to leave. The FTC is a reassuring statement which communicates social value and lets the girls know that you're not going to be hanging on them all night.
Field, the: Anywhere in the world where you can meet girls. Online mediums like Facebook, email, text and online dating sites do not usually count as "the field."
HB: Hot babe.
Inner game: The pickup artist's internal state of mind. See "state"
IOI: Indicator of interest. A sign given by a girl that she is interested in you, such as laughing at jokes, self-grooming, etc.
Insta-date: Meeting a girl in the field and moving her to a new location for an impromptu, one-on-one date.
Kino: Short for kinesthetic. Touching. Kino escalating - increasingly intimate touching that ultimately leads to kissing/fucking.
Mid-game: Routines and conversation used to build attraction between a PUA and his target.
Neg: A slightly taunting or dismissive comment used to equalize social value between men and high-value females.
NLP: Neuro-linguistic programming. A controversial field of social research which uses speech patterns, visualization, and other techniques to control ones own thoughts and those of others. NLP can be used in seduction (a la Ross Jeffries) and as a form of self-improvement training to remove psychological blocks.
Opener: A PUA's opening material.
Outer game: A person's outward appearance, including clothing, grooming, voice intonation, body language, etc.
Pawn: A beautiful girl used solely for social proof in a club.
PUA: Pickup artist
Roll off: A technique of leaving a set without diminishing one's own social value.
Sarging: Going out into the field to meet women.
Set: Any group of two or more people. A set is "mixed" when it includes men and women.
Social proof: Actions and appearances which increase the PUA's social value among females by showing that you are capable of having positive relationships with other females. Successfully opening and running good game on a set of girls increases social proof, as is a stack of photos showing you in situations with other beautiful women.
Social value: A measure of relative social merit between people. PUAs learn to manipulate and equalize social value to increase rate of success.
State: A mental zone in which the pickup artist is feeling good, communicating fluidly and telegraphing positive and sexual messages to people around him. Getting "in-state" is essential for successful pickup.
Street pickup: Very advanced and difficult form of pickup conducted on a street sidewalk or any outdoors area where people are in transit.
Wing, or Wingman: A fellow PUA who helps in opening, building attraction, clearing obstacles, and all aspects of gaming hot women.
AFC: Average frustrated chump
AMOG: Alpha Male of the Group.
Bounce: Moving a girl to a new location as a form of time bridging.
Choad (also chode): A guy who stands around acting like a dope. Also v. to choad
Close: Closing with a girl can include any number of important milestone acts, including a #close (getting a phone number), k-close (kissing), or f-close (sex).
Cocky/playful: The outwardly sexual, funny, borderline inappropriate state a PUA enters when sarging in the field. Cocky/playful attitudes generally draw interest from women, who may be used to men who fawn over them or are intimidated by beautiful women.
Day2: The first date you have with a girl after a successful pickup.
DHV: Demonstration of higher value. Any part of your routine that increases your social value
DLV: Demonstration of lower value. Any act which diminishes your social value
False Time Constraint (FTC): A statement made to a girl or to a set upon opening which gives the impression of a willingness or need to leave. The FTC is a reassuring statement which communicates social value and lets the girls know that you're not going to be hanging on them all night.
Field, the: Anywhere in the world where you can meet girls. Online mediums like Facebook, email, text and online dating sites do not usually count as "the field."
HB: Hot babe.
Inner game: The pickup artist's internal state of mind. See "state"
IOI: Indicator of interest. A sign given by a girl that she is interested in you, such as laughing at jokes, self-grooming, etc.
Insta-date: Meeting a girl in the field and moving her to a new location for an impromptu, one-on-one date.
Kino: Short for kinesthetic. Touching. Kino escalating - increasingly intimate touching that ultimately leads to kissing/fucking.
Mid-game: Routines and conversation used to build attraction between a PUA and his target.
Neg: A slightly taunting or dismissive comment used to equalize social value between men and high-value females.
NLP: Neuro-linguistic programming. A controversial field of social research which uses speech patterns, visualization, and other techniques to control ones own thoughts and those of others. NLP can be used in seduction (a la Ross Jeffries) and as a form of self-improvement training to remove psychological blocks.
Opener: A PUA's opening material.
Outer game: A person's outward appearance, including clothing, grooming, voice intonation, body language, etc.
Pawn: A beautiful girl used solely for social proof in a club.
PUA: Pickup artist
Roll off: A technique of leaving a set without diminishing one's own social value.
Sarging: Going out into the field to meet women.
Set: Any group of two or more people. A set is "mixed" when it includes men and women.
Social proof: Actions and appearances which increase the PUA's social value among females by showing that you are capable of having positive relationships with other females. Successfully opening and running good game on a set of girls increases social proof, as is a stack of photos showing you in situations with other beautiful women.
Social value: A measure of relative social merit between people. PUAs learn to manipulate and equalize social value to increase rate of success.
State: A mental zone in which the pickup artist is feeling good, communicating fluidly and telegraphing positive and sexual messages to people around him. Getting "in-state" is essential for successful pickup.
Street pickup: Very advanced and difficult form of pickup conducted on a street sidewalk or any outdoors area where people are in transit.
Wing, or Wingman: A fellow PUA who helps in opening, building attraction, clearing obstacles, and all aspects of gaming hot women.
Field Report #7 FR++ A bad night capped with pride
The Night in Question: 20 March 2010
It was about 8:30 pm on Saturday night and I had just finished working on a tight deadline project. It was hot and sweaty in the building due to an unseasonably warm day (low 70's for mid-March in Maine is very unseasonable). As I walked back to my apartment, I felt a bit tired but stoked. Saturday nights are always the best nights for sarging in Portland. And I figured with the warm glorious day, the clubs would be packed.
After a quick shower and rocking out to some cool club music while dressing, I headed into the city. I was a bit apprehensive, knowing that I didn't get a chance to do my normal routine of getting into state - a bit of shopping and self-amusement to get the talkative juices flowing. But I felt pumped for the other reasons already mentioned so I pressed on.
It was nearly 10:00 by the time I got to the night club district. First I hit my normal bar/pub place and was immediately disappointed by the crowd. It was nearly empty. There were a few girls in the place, but easily 50% were beastly - they did not even cross 6 on the 1-10 scale. On other nights, even nights when the weather has been horrible, the crowd has been a lot larger and with a lot more hot girls.
After getting a beer, I crossed and opened a 4 set containing the cutest girls in the bar. They were all visiting from Boston and were crashing in an absent friend's apartment. They were management consultants or something, and described their jobs as "babysitting rich old white guys." I ran some game but didn't feel any sparks. They got up to go dance to the lame reggae band that was playing, so I rolled off. Bad body language (I was standing behind the cute one, and she wouldn't turn around), bad posture (I leaned in too much), and no DHV spikes (I didn't use any of my material - I just talked randomly about nothing in particular and probably looked like an AFC). DUH
I went back for another beer and chatted up a cute couple who had been dating a short time. I did a successful cold read on both of them and locked into that set for a while. I successfully guessed that the guy was an accountant, she was a hair stylist (I guessed aesthetician but they gave me that one) and that they had met online and been dating for a few months. The girl was cute and she was giving me IOIs like lots of smiling, laughing at jokes, and touching hair but I wasn't going to steal a cute girl from an obviously nice guy (who was sooo afc it was painful). In his mind, this was the girl he was going to marry and squeeze out little baby accountants with, and who was I to fuck that up. I roll off and head over for another beer.
I know I'm officially now in bad territory. Once I take that third beer, I'm over my self-imposed line and it turns into a night out drinking instead of a night out sarging. But I was feeling horrible from missing my psyche up routine and alcohol was feeling like a good crutch (which it isn't).
I try to start chatting with a group of guys who are choading at the corner of the bar. I've gotten some good energy off other guys in the bar before, and was hoping for a last minute hail mary. Turns out they were just a bunch of assholes. Worse, they were the worst kind of afc's imaginable, young bucks all trying to please a wiry, douchey looking AMOG reclining in a barstool. These guys are lifeless chumps and with no other decent looking girls in the place, I head out.
A spin through a couple of adjacent clubs and not much going on. I'm shocked given the spectacular weather. It's now about 11:30 and it's still in the high 50s, unheard of for march. I get one beer in each place and I'm starting to get buzzed. I fail to open any other sets and just don't have the energy in me. The booze isn't helping.
It's now nearly closing time and I start walking down to the pizza place to sober up some and see if there are any cute drunk girls waiting for slices. I spot a little irish pub that I've never seen before and give it a try. The place is dead but there's a cute two-set in the corner behind a pool table, two 6s. They're both a little thicker than I usually prefer but one had a very pretty face and a hot ass. I talk them up and get kino going with the hot-ass one. I'm a little drunk now and the barback comes and steals my beer from the railing beside us. The other friend splits, leaving me alone with the hotass. She's a little tipsy too. Frankly, I am sketchy on the convo details. She was in her early 30s. I remember her telling me she's a writer for television in LA, and had worked on some hit TV shows but I can't remember the names. I think she said she worked on the Golden Girls but I don't really remember. I successfully escalate kino to the point where we're making out in the corner of the bar when they flick the lights on. We leave hand-in-hand and I agree to walk her back to her hotel.
I stop her along the way and pull her into doorway alcoves to make out. While we're smooching we get accosted by drunk passers by looking for cigs and lights, but neither of us have any smoking accessories so we continue. I don't ask for permission - I just continue walking with her all the way back to the hotel (which was like a mile away - holy shit) and then up the elevator and to her room where stripping of clothing and fucking like rabbits immediately ensues upon the hotel room door closing.
Blissfully we fall asleep, which I do willingly so I can dry out a bit before driving home. I wake up around 4:00 AM and try to extricate myself from her but she is so tangled up in me that I can't even move without waking her up. I get up to piss and try to get some of my clothes back on but she wakes up and asks what I'm doing. I still feel a little tipsy anyway I say fuck it and jump back in bed with her and snooze some more. Around 8:00 I tell her I have to work that day (which is sort of true) but she wants to fuck again so we go another round. I go to the bathroom to clean up and toss a warm facecloth out the door which lands with a wet squishy plop squarely between her beautiful breasts. She is terrified at first and then starts laughing like a hyena - the most shrill annoying laugh I have ever heard. I get her email address and telephone number and head back to my car.
Sets opened: 3, including the awkward dating couple
#-closes: 1
K-closes: 1
F-closes: 1
Lessons learned:
Getting in state is ESSENTIAL for my success in sarging. I have figured out how to do it - it starts at around 4:00 PM and requires a few bounces and 4-5 cute shop girls. It's easy to do, but I just didn't have time that Saturday because I had a short-deadline project I had to finish and had to deliver on Sunday morning. My game sucked, probably because I was tired from working all day (I don't normally work on Saturdays) and just in a bad headstate.
I think some of my disappointment was self-fulfilling. I convinced myself that the amazingly warm weather was going to result in hordes of beautiful women in the night club district and the reality was just the opposite - it was a below average night. Going in with no expectations but a good frame of mind is also key, especially if prone to game-killing disappointment.
Drunk girls are easy lays. They normally band together but when tipsy they are easy to separate and f-close. This particular place was a total dive - not the kind of place I normally meet girls but it might be back on the circuit for future nights.
It was about 8:30 pm on Saturday night and I had just finished working on a tight deadline project. It was hot and sweaty in the building due to an unseasonably warm day (low 70's for mid-March in Maine is very unseasonable). As I walked back to my apartment, I felt a bit tired but stoked. Saturday nights are always the best nights for sarging in Portland. And I figured with the warm glorious day, the clubs would be packed.
After a quick shower and rocking out to some cool club music while dressing, I headed into the city. I was a bit apprehensive, knowing that I didn't get a chance to do my normal routine of getting into state - a bit of shopping and self-amusement to get the talkative juices flowing. But I felt pumped for the other reasons already mentioned so I pressed on.
It was nearly 10:00 by the time I got to the night club district. First I hit my normal bar/pub place and was immediately disappointed by the crowd. It was nearly empty. There were a few girls in the place, but easily 50% were beastly - they did not even cross 6 on the 1-10 scale. On other nights, even nights when the weather has been horrible, the crowd has been a lot larger and with a lot more hot girls.
After getting a beer, I crossed and opened a 4 set containing the cutest girls in the bar. They were all visiting from Boston and were crashing in an absent friend's apartment. They were management consultants or something, and described their jobs as "babysitting rich old white guys." I ran some game but didn't feel any sparks. They got up to go dance to the lame reggae band that was playing, so I rolled off. Bad body language (I was standing behind the cute one, and she wouldn't turn around), bad posture (I leaned in too much), and no DHV spikes (I didn't use any of my material - I just talked randomly about nothing in particular and probably looked like an AFC). DUH
I went back for another beer and chatted up a cute couple who had been dating a short time. I did a successful cold read on both of them and locked into that set for a while. I successfully guessed that the guy was an accountant, she was a hair stylist (I guessed aesthetician but they gave me that one) and that they had met online and been dating for a few months. The girl was cute and she was giving me IOIs like lots of smiling, laughing at jokes, and touching hair but I wasn't going to steal a cute girl from an obviously nice guy (who was sooo afc it was painful). In his mind, this was the girl he was going to marry and squeeze out little baby accountants with, and who was I to fuck that up. I roll off and head over for another beer.
I know I'm officially now in bad territory. Once I take that third beer, I'm over my self-imposed line and it turns into a night out drinking instead of a night out sarging. But I was feeling horrible from missing my psyche up routine and alcohol was feeling like a good crutch (which it isn't).
I try to start chatting with a group of guys who are choading at the corner of the bar. I've gotten some good energy off other guys in the bar before, and was hoping for a last minute hail mary. Turns out they were just a bunch of assholes. Worse, they were the worst kind of afc's imaginable, young bucks all trying to please a wiry, douchey looking AMOG reclining in a barstool. These guys are lifeless chumps and with no other decent looking girls in the place, I head out.
A spin through a couple of adjacent clubs and not much going on. I'm shocked given the spectacular weather. It's now about 11:30 and it's still in the high 50s, unheard of for march. I get one beer in each place and I'm starting to get buzzed. I fail to open any other sets and just don't have the energy in me. The booze isn't helping.
It's now nearly closing time and I start walking down to the pizza place to sober up some and see if there are any cute drunk girls waiting for slices. I spot a little irish pub that I've never seen before and give it a try. The place is dead but there's a cute two-set in the corner behind a pool table, two 6s. They're both a little thicker than I usually prefer but one had a very pretty face and a hot ass. I talk them up and get kino going with the hot-ass one. I'm a little drunk now and the barback comes and steals my beer from the railing beside us. The other friend splits, leaving me alone with the hotass. She's a little tipsy too. Frankly, I am sketchy on the convo details. She was in her early 30s. I remember her telling me she's a writer for television in LA, and had worked on some hit TV shows but I can't remember the names. I think she said she worked on the Golden Girls but I don't really remember. I successfully escalate kino to the point where we're making out in the corner of the bar when they flick the lights on. We leave hand-in-hand and I agree to walk her back to her hotel.
I stop her along the way and pull her into doorway alcoves to make out. While we're smooching we get accosted by drunk passers by looking for cigs and lights, but neither of us have any smoking accessories so we continue. I don't ask for permission - I just continue walking with her all the way back to the hotel (which was like a mile away - holy shit) and then up the elevator and to her room where stripping of clothing and fucking like rabbits immediately ensues upon the hotel room door closing.
Blissfully we fall asleep, which I do willingly so I can dry out a bit before driving home. I wake up around 4:00 AM and try to extricate myself from her but she is so tangled up in me that I can't even move without waking her up. I get up to piss and try to get some of my clothes back on but she wakes up and asks what I'm doing. I still feel a little tipsy anyway I say fuck it and jump back in bed with her and snooze some more. Around 8:00 I tell her I have to work that day (which is sort of true) but she wants to fuck again so we go another round. I go to the bathroom to clean up and toss a warm facecloth out the door which lands with a wet squishy plop squarely between her beautiful breasts. She is terrified at first and then starts laughing like a hyena - the most shrill annoying laugh I have ever heard. I get her email address and telephone number and head back to my car.
Sets opened: 3, including the awkward dating couple
#-closes: 1
K-closes: 1
F-closes: 1
Lessons learned:
Getting in state is ESSENTIAL for my success in sarging. I have figured out how to do it - it starts at around 4:00 PM and requires a few bounces and 4-5 cute shop girls. It's easy to do, but I just didn't have time that Saturday because I had a short-deadline project I had to finish and had to deliver on Sunday morning. My game sucked, probably because I was tired from working all day (I don't normally work on Saturdays) and just in a bad headstate.
I think some of my disappointment was self-fulfilling. I convinced myself that the amazingly warm weather was going to result in hordes of beautiful women in the night club district and the reality was just the opposite - it was a below average night. Going in with no expectations but a good frame of mind is also key, especially if prone to game-killing disappointment.
Drunk girls are easy lays. They normally band together but when tipsy they are easy to separate and f-close. This particular place was a total dive - not the kind of place I normally meet girls but it might be back on the circuit for future nights.
Field Report #6 FR+ It works! This stuff totally works!
The night in question: 13 March 2010
Last night was a great night. I was in my element, this time flying solo with no help from a wing. I opened sets fluidly, successfully kino escalated, handled shit tests, tried some NLP, I got some stripes as a wing for someone else, and just generally had a blast. And I got the hottest girl for myself.
The night started with some shopping as I have done successfully in the past. The consignment shops where I usually go didn't have much in the way of new finds, and I wasn't feeling the love from the shop girls and other shoppers like last week. One of the shop girls remembered me from the previous week. She was not a looker, but she said something like, "Hey I thought of you when this _______ came in." That totally blew me away. Even though it's been a while since I had my "transformation," I'm not used to being memorable.
It was still early (around 5:00) and I knew I was going to miss dinner at the uni cafeteria so I hit my favorite pub and waited on a seat at the bar to get a beer and some food. I try to open a couple of sets (without very good results) but I didn't have much of a warmup and I'm not feeling like I'm in the zone. While I was waiting, I chatted with a young guy at the bar who was there solo and we struck up a convo. Two stools open up on the other side of a two set including a very hot 9 girl and a guy, so I get him to move and take the seat next to me. While we were talking, the 9 girl's man leaves. She's early 30s and has beautiful long dark brown hair and a wide smile that lights up the room. I open her up and get her to move closer and take the empty stool between us. I do something a little bit devious. I kind of use my new friend (Lucas) to game the girl. I go to the bathroom and I tell him that our new friend (Amy) is giving him some IOIs (which she was). I'm like "Dude, she's into you - go for it."
When I come back, they are talking and Lucas is trying really hard to be a nice guy and win her heart. Without planning it, suddenly we're both gaming her but with a good-cop bad-cop routine, with him being good cop and me being the very very bad cop. I intentionally give her away to him so he will flub it up. I know this kind of violates the "bro's before ho's" motto. Lucas is nice kid and a good looking guy, but he's no PUA. I play the bad cop so well I actually piss her off so much she's calling me out for being an asshole. I deserved it - I was intentionally being an ass, like Tucker Max-level ass. She throws shit test after shit test and its like they just bounce off me. I don't even remember them anyone. I actually turn my back and open a set next to me on the other side and have a half hour conversation, totally freezing her out. I #close the two girls next to me and strike up a very useful networking convo with their guy friend who is in a similar job as me.
Lucas is trying, but he's a wet noodle. Despite a commendable effort with this girl, he loses his steam and chodes out. Even though Amy thinks I'm a total asshole, I re-open her and start running perfect game. After Lucas leaves, I come down off the total ass routine and let her see that I'm actually a nice guy. My PUA skills are really starting to show. I make up some finger length bullshit story that just gives me an opportunity to touch her hands. I successfully kino escalate, deflect shit tests, draw other single males and females into our set. Even while running game on this beautiful woman, I simultaneously open and # close adjacent hot girls in other sets and merge them into my set with this very beautiful girl. I number closed two other beautiful women while having my arm wrapped around a total 9, back anchored perfectly to the bar.
One of my favorite parts of the night is I start role playing with her with some of the new girls I merged into our set. One of the other girls asks us where we met, because we're so touchy with each other they just assume that we're a couple. I fire back with "We met on Match.com!" and the girls are all "That's so cool! I know so many people who got together on Match." Amy is absolutely horrified and starts slapping me on the chest, but eventually we build up this whole fictitious story about our non-existent Match.com courtship. It was hilarious.
I've been reading into NLP and in a stroke of inspiration I pull a perfect Ross Jeffries NLP condiment anchoring routine. I do the butterflies-in-the-stomach bit but unfortunately there are no condiments on the bar. I take off one of my rings (I wear a lot of jewelry when I go out - all cheap stuff) and I anchor with the ring instead of the condiments. She's so blown away she doesn't even know what to do. Aside from the whole anchoring bit, the ring is also a very powerful symbol. I know this girl is hooked.
At first she wouldn't even let me touch her arm but after a while she lets me start touching her all over. She's comfortable playing with my hands and she leaves my hands in her lap. When I pick up her hands, she squeezes them. Hands on the back, on her side, I held the back of her head underneath her hair like I was going to kiss her, but I didn't. She let me gently touch her face, hair, ears, neck eyelids with my thumbs. It was like a touch-seduction happening right in the middle of a crowded bar. It was perfect kino. We're sitting at the bar and I've got my hand around her, totally feeling up her hips and going a little bit onto her ass. She's got a lithe, thin body and great tits. I lean in and kiss close this very hot girl right there at the bar. Holy fuck!
After a little while longer, we go on an insta-date to a nearby restaurant with a wine bar. I'm totally horned for this girl, but at the wine bar she is starting to get a little spaced out and sloppy. We're kissing and touchy with each other but eventually she starts to space out and I know I've started to lose her. We can't find regular chairs so we have a little bit of wine at the bar before she starts to slide off the bar stool and I know this is going nowhere fast. As it turns out, one of her roommates is a sous chef at the restaurant. He comes out and the three of us start to walk. I sense an end to this particular episode and let the roommate walk her home. Having # and k-closed with this very cute girl, I feel good in my accomplishment and start looking for other targets.
I head over to a new club and start chatting with cheerleaders for a local AAA hockey team who were doing some kind of calendar signing fundraiser thing. I open three of them and start running some game. Even though I'm not interested in getting phone numbers, I have the social proof that I need because now I'm perceived as being best friends with a whole row of beautiful cheerleaders. They are very cute, and a total AFC guy comes up and starts to fumble on his words. I get to talking with him and it turns out he's an intel dude for the US Military in Kuwait! Awesome!
I take spy-man upstairs to the dance floor with his chumpy friends. His buddies go off and disappear, I'm like "dude - you're my hero. I'm going to be your wing man tonight. You point out the girl, any girl in this room, and I'll go introduce you to her." He picks a very pretty 9 girl standing on the edge of the dance floor with her friends. Without even thinking, I go and open the set and in one fluid motion I become the perfect wing. I build him up, bring him in, and then he disappears into the crowd on the dance floor with this beautiful girl! Any karma I spent throwing Lucas under the bus is more than made up when I hook up my new military buddy with a beautiful woman. Later, he reappears, bummed that some big black guy had stolen his girl. Turns out spy kid is out partying with his mother who's 45 and a bit of a cougar. He introduces me to his mom and she totally starts hitting on me, coming on strong. I am flattered and she's nice but I don't do older girls and deflect. Spy-guy is shipping out in a week's time, so I get his number and tell him to look me up when he comes back.
I open a bunch of other sets in this place but don't build enough attraction to #close any of them. I'm getting tired and since I got there it has gotten very crowded, to the point where you can't walk and that's never any fun. It's also getting late and the sets start to cool off so I head back to my car. But I drive home knowing that I had another great night and the best thing is that I did it without a wing - in fact I got to be an impromptu wing for someone else.
Sets opened - No idea. I'm not even counting anymore
# closes - going through my phone I think I got about 6-7 phone numbers, but 1 was a guy. I have numbers in my phone I don't even recognize
k-closes - 1 very very cute 9 girl with a lot of very intimate kino
Lessons learned:
Even though earlier I was thinking I might have a hard time getting into state, I didn't have any trouble. Going into the bar was not intimidating, in fact it was like going home. It was totally fluid. The whole night, I never once used canned material. I just did my thing. I did get a few blank stares from girls and had a couple of unsuccessful openers, but I had such a great time I don't even remember how I did it. The words were just flowing from my mouth I didn't even think about what I was saying. It was zen.
The good-cop bad-cop/Tucker Max asshole routine was perfect. In hindsight I feel bad because it was a little manipulative and there are so many ways it could have backfired, but in this instance it worked perfectly. Apparently it was very entertaining to watch too. The bartenders in the pub, who are usually pretty cool cats, were like "This is hilarious, we gotta watch this."
Last week I got a k-close after some awkward kino but most of the problem was a poor arrangement of stools. It's hard to kino over someone's knees. This week I had perfect form because I was in the middle of the bar, I was able to anchor perfectly against the bar and then work on Amy who was sitting on a stool next to me.
The biggest obstacle I had last night wasn't a person at all - it was alcohol. And not my alcohol, but Amy's. I'm not sure how many drinks this girl had - she only had one in my presence, but she could have been drinking all day for all I knew. She didn't strike me as the party girl type who was going to get totally hammered. If she wasn't completely loaded, I am very confident that I would have been able to at least get some heavy makeout if not a total f-close. If that one phone number doesn't turn into a Day 2 I'm going to be bummed, but at least I know there will be more girls in the future.
Last night was a great night. I was in my element, this time flying solo with no help from a wing. I opened sets fluidly, successfully kino escalated, handled shit tests, tried some NLP, I got some stripes as a wing for someone else, and just generally had a blast. And I got the hottest girl for myself.
The night started with some shopping as I have done successfully in the past. The consignment shops where I usually go didn't have much in the way of new finds, and I wasn't feeling the love from the shop girls and other shoppers like last week. One of the shop girls remembered me from the previous week. She was not a looker, but she said something like, "Hey I thought of you when this _______ came in." That totally blew me away. Even though it's been a while since I had my "transformation," I'm not used to being memorable.
It was still early (around 5:00) and I knew I was going to miss dinner at the uni cafeteria so I hit my favorite pub and waited on a seat at the bar to get a beer and some food. I try to open a couple of sets (without very good results) but I didn't have much of a warmup and I'm not feeling like I'm in the zone. While I was waiting, I chatted with a young guy at the bar who was there solo and we struck up a convo. Two stools open up on the other side of a two set including a very hot 9 girl and a guy, so I get him to move and take the seat next to me. While we were talking, the 9 girl's man leaves. She's early 30s and has beautiful long dark brown hair and a wide smile that lights up the room. I open her up and get her to move closer and take the empty stool between us. I do something a little bit devious. I kind of use my new friend (Lucas) to game the girl. I go to the bathroom and I tell him that our new friend (Amy) is giving him some IOIs (which she was). I'm like "Dude, she's into you - go for it."
When I come back, they are talking and Lucas is trying really hard to be a nice guy and win her heart. Without planning it, suddenly we're both gaming her but with a good-cop bad-cop routine, with him being good cop and me being the very very bad cop. I intentionally give her away to him so he will flub it up. I know this kind of violates the "bro's before ho's" motto. Lucas is nice kid and a good looking guy, but he's no PUA. I play the bad cop so well I actually piss her off so much she's calling me out for being an asshole. I deserved it - I was intentionally being an ass, like Tucker Max-level ass. She throws shit test after shit test and its like they just bounce off me. I don't even remember them anyone. I actually turn my back and open a set next to me on the other side and have a half hour conversation, totally freezing her out. I #close the two girls next to me and strike up a very useful networking convo with their guy friend who is in a similar job as me.
Lucas is trying, but he's a wet noodle. Despite a commendable effort with this girl, he loses his steam and chodes out. Even though Amy thinks I'm a total asshole, I re-open her and start running perfect game. After Lucas leaves, I come down off the total ass routine and let her see that I'm actually a nice guy. My PUA skills are really starting to show. I make up some finger length bullshit story that just gives me an opportunity to touch her hands. I successfully kino escalate, deflect shit tests, draw other single males and females into our set. Even while running game on this beautiful woman, I simultaneously open and # close adjacent hot girls in other sets and merge them into my set with this very beautiful girl. I number closed two other beautiful women while having my arm wrapped around a total 9, back anchored perfectly to the bar.
One of my favorite parts of the night is I start role playing with her with some of the new girls I merged into our set. One of the other girls asks us where we met, because we're so touchy with each other they just assume that we're a couple. I fire back with "We met on Match.com!" and the girls are all "That's so cool! I know so many people who got together on Match." Amy is absolutely horrified and starts slapping me on the chest, but eventually we build up this whole fictitious story about our non-existent Match.com courtship. It was hilarious.
I've been reading into NLP and in a stroke of inspiration I pull a perfect Ross Jeffries NLP condiment anchoring routine. I do the butterflies-in-the-stomach bit but unfortunately there are no condiments on the bar. I take off one of my rings (I wear a lot of jewelry when I go out - all cheap stuff) and I anchor with the ring instead of the condiments. She's so blown away she doesn't even know what to do. Aside from the whole anchoring bit, the ring is also a very powerful symbol. I know this girl is hooked.
At first she wouldn't even let me touch her arm but after a while she lets me start touching her all over. She's comfortable playing with my hands and she leaves my hands in her lap. When I pick up her hands, she squeezes them. Hands on the back, on her side, I held the back of her head underneath her hair like I was going to kiss her, but I didn't. She let me gently touch her face, hair, ears, neck eyelids with my thumbs. It was like a touch-seduction happening right in the middle of a crowded bar. It was perfect kino. We're sitting at the bar and I've got my hand around her, totally feeling up her hips and going a little bit onto her ass. She's got a lithe, thin body and great tits. I lean in and kiss close this very hot girl right there at the bar. Holy fuck!
After a little while longer, we go on an insta-date to a nearby restaurant with a wine bar. I'm totally horned for this girl, but at the wine bar she is starting to get a little spaced out and sloppy. We're kissing and touchy with each other but eventually she starts to space out and I know I've started to lose her. We can't find regular chairs so we have a little bit of wine at the bar before she starts to slide off the bar stool and I know this is going nowhere fast. As it turns out, one of her roommates is a sous chef at the restaurant. He comes out and the three of us start to walk. I sense an end to this particular episode and let the roommate walk her home. Having # and k-closed with this very cute girl, I feel good in my accomplishment and start looking for other targets.
I head over to a new club and start chatting with cheerleaders for a local AAA hockey team who were doing some kind of calendar signing fundraiser thing. I open three of them and start running some game. Even though I'm not interested in getting phone numbers, I have the social proof that I need because now I'm perceived as being best friends with a whole row of beautiful cheerleaders. They are very cute, and a total AFC guy comes up and starts to fumble on his words. I get to talking with him and it turns out he's an intel dude for the US Military in Kuwait! Awesome!
I take spy-man upstairs to the dance floor with his chumpy friends. His buddies go off and disappear, I'm like "dude - you're my hero. I'm going to be your wing man tonight. You point out the girl, any girl in this room, and I'll go introduce you to her." He picks a very pretty 9 girl standing on the edge of the dance floor with her friends. Without even thinking, I go and open the set and in one fluid motion I become the perfect wing. I build him up, bring him in, and then he disappears into the crowd on the dance floor with this beautiful girl! Any karma I spent throwing Lucas under the bus is more than made up when I hook up my new military buddy with a beautiful woman. Later, he reappears, bummed that some big black guy had stolen his girl. Turns out spy kid is out partying with his mother who's 45 and a bit of a cougar. He introduces me to his mom and she totally starts hitting on me, coming on strong. I am flattered and she's nice but I don't do older girls and deflect. Spy-guy is shipping out in a week's time, so I get his number and tell him to look me up when he comes back.
I open a bunch of other sets in this place but don't build enough attraction to #close any of them. I'm getting tired and since I got there it has gotten very crowded, to the point where you can't walk and that's never any fun. It's also getting late and the sets start to cool off so I head back to my car. But I drive home knowing that I had another great night and the best thing is that I did it without a wing - in fact I got to be an impromptu wing for someone else.
Sets opened - No idea. I'm not even counting anymore
# closes - going through my phone I think I got about 6-7 phone numbers, but 1 was a guy. I have numbers in my phone I don't even recognize
k-closes - 1 very very cute 9 girl with a lot of very intimate kino
Lessons learned:
Even though earlier I was thinking I might have a hard time getting into state, I didn't have any trouble. Going into the bar was not intimidating, in fact it was like going home. It was totally fluid. The whole night, I never once used canned material. I just did my thing. I did get a few blank stares from girls and had a couple of unsuccessful openers, but I had such a great time I don't even remember how I did it. The words were just flowing from my mouth I didn't even think about what I was saying. It was zen.
The good-cop bad-cop/Tucker Max asshole routine was perfect. In hindsight I feel bad because it was a little manipulative and there are so many ways it could have backfired, but in this instance it worked perfectly. Apparently it was very entertaining to watch too. The bartenders in the pub, who are usually pretty cool cats, were like "This is hilarious, we gotta watch this."
Last week I got a k-close after some awkward kino but most of the problem was a poor arrangement of stools. It's hard to kino over someone's knees. This week I had perfect form because I was in the middle of the bar, I was able to anchor perfectly against the bar and then work on Amy who was sitting on a stool next to me.
The biggest obstacle I had last night wasn't a person at all - it was alcohol. And not my alcohol, but Amy's. I'm not sure how many drinks this girl had - she only had one in my presence, but she could have been drinking all day for all I knew. She didn't strike me as the party girl type who was going to get totally hammered. If she wasn't completely loaded, I am very confident that I would have been able to at least get some heavy makeout if not a total f-close. If that one phone number doesn't turn into a Day 2 I'm going to be bummed, but at least I know there will be more girls in the future.
Field Report #5 FR+ 10s 10s 10s! An amazing night
Writing this field report restores my faith in humanity, my abilities with pickup, and my city's ability to provide hot girls to meet. As some of you know, my last night sarging was not very successful. In fact, it was downright disastrous. That night my frame sucked, my energy level and attitude sucked, I had a lousy time out and wasn't nearly up to my potential. Last night was definitely NOT a repeat of that time. Short of f-closing a hot girl, it was as far from that night as one can get. What an amazing evening. Here's the story...
It's Saturday late afternoon. I head into the city to go out shopping, intending to do a little browsing, talking up shop girls to get into state and then go sarging in Whole Foods before I hit the night club district. By the time I get downtown, it's around 4:30 pm and I'm hitting all the classy stores. I pick up some awesome deals at a high class merchant, run some game on the bored but totally hot 10 girl behind the counter for a while and score awesome deals on some new threads. She doesn't seem that interested in me because she keeps her face glued to her phone, so I roll off. I head to a nearby upscale consignment shop and hit some more awesome finds on clothes. From the moment I walk in the store, I own the place - everyone in there thinks I'm the king shit. The girls are not hot but it doesn't matter - I'm there to get into state and maybe find some good deals on clothes. I'm telling jokes to the shop girls and the other customers in the store and they're all loving it. I sweep up the place and the girl behind the counter is giving me free jewelry and shit and practically throwing her phone number at me. Awesome. First #close.
I walk downtown heading for a high-class men's clothes store I've heard about. It's a bit obscure so I'm having a hard time finding it. A total 10 girl is walking towards me, and with one smooth, perfectly timed, over-the-shoulder movement I ask her if she knows where "Wharf Street" is. She not only stops and turns to me, but she starts engaging me in convo. Turns out she has no idea where the street is but she pulls out an iPhone and uses the map feature to pinpoint the location. We draw close together so we can look at the screen, and I put my hand lightly on her back. I convince her I'm not going to be able to find it without her and her gagdet, because I'm not from the city (which is true). So just like that I get this absolutely beautiful woman to accompany me willingly to the very doorstep of the clothes store. I make her take my arm, run a bit more kino - she's laughing at my jokes and touching her hair and otherwise giving me major IOIs. We get there but now she's now feeling bad because she's late for meeting some friends for dinner. Before she puts her phone away I #close with her and she heads off and I go shopping. This was my first street pickup and it was a total 10 and a total success! And it's my second #close of the evening.
After a bit more shopping, I head out to the shopping mall, partly to browse for some new accessories/jewelry and also to get more in-state. I go to my favorite jewelry store and there is a different girl there than the time I went last, but she's just as hot. I get her to try on a bunch of jewelry on me. She's wearing a huge rock on her ring finger but I don't give a shit. I pick out like 7 things and I make her test fit every piece of jewelry on me - rings, necklaces, wrist bands - everything I can find that suits me and is guaranteed to get a lot of skin-to-skin contact. I'm making jokes and being playful and she's loving it. She has this crazy loud laugh, like a monkey in heat. I make her put a necklace on me that I bought at another store and she does it willingly. I thank her, kiss her hand which makes her gush with embarrassment, and then roll off.
After a little more shopping in the mall, I head to my favorite bookstore and start building some witty rapport with a hot but freakishly disabled employee with no hands (thalidomide baby). The whole time I'm talking I'm trying to imagine getting a hand job from a girl with stumps for hands. How exactly does that work? We talk for a while before she gets called away on her walkie-talkie. I transition to a hot geeky chick sitting on a stool reading in the business/marketing section. She's cute but I can't get her into a talkative mood, so I roll off. Unfortunately, there are not many hot girls in the store. Leaving the bookstore, I realize that it's like 9:30 and I decide it's too late to go to Whole Foods, or even to head home to shower, so I just head into the night club district. I'm wearing cool clothes, but in the car I change into one of my new shirts, add some of cool new jewelry/accessories and then move out.
First stop is my favorite pub. I order a beer and pick a section of bar to lean back and survey the situation. There are a few hot sets, but the place is still pretty empty and I still feel like I need to get into state because my energy level gets sapped whenever I enter a bar. I start a convo with a chumpy-looking guy around my age sitting in a stool beside me. I'm telling you that's the best fucking decision I've made all night. I'm dolled up in my leather, spike hair, earrings and tons of jewelry and he's like Mr. Conservative button down sales dude from out of town. But after a half hour of convo Mr. Conservative (John) totally becomes my wing, opening sets for me, buying rounds of drinks for me and the girls, and we're just out there totally in state having a great time. He's married, but he is a natural PUA. Talking with him about his game, I learn that he's never studied pickup but he just has natural talent and no fear and pretty good form when it comes to gaming girls. I don't let on that I'm studying pickup - I just watch this guy's style and start having fun.
We're standing in the one place where people can get drinks, and with the crowd now picking up, there is a constant stream of hot women. John leans over his shoulder and opens a four set of fucking 10 10 10s queuing up to order drinks we start talking - turns out they're all students at the university where I work (technically off limits for me for dates and f-closes) so we game them for a while and then roll off. It's OK - it was a warmup for me.
John is doing some AFC stuff like DLV'ing himself and buying girls rounds of drinks, but I'm just playing quiet because he's otherwise being such a cool guy. He tries to open a four-set coming up to get drinks - girls that were very hot but very young and their bitch shields were extremely high. His opener is sloppy and one of the girls shoots back "fuck you, dude." Now he sees it as a challenge and is loving it. I try to rescue the set by playfully negging one of her friends, but the set is lost. I was feeling like I could have opened these girls much more successfully on my own and probably at least #closed them, but I didn't really feel any attraction to them. Bitchy girls are a turn off for me, and for the most part these girls had B-I-T-C-H written all over them.
We go back to chode mode and John tells me we're getting interest from a group of four cougars on the other side of the room. I'm totally in state, getting into a zone where I'm not really thinking about what I'm doing, I'm just doing it. Now that I'm in GOD mode, fearless and willing to talk with anyone, I head over to go to run some game. Turns out they are not nearly so hot up close as they are across the room. I use a canned opener then run some situational stuff but they're not very bright - it was a birthday party for the youngest one who just turned 40, so they might have been drunk. Birthday girl was a total fatty... *eeech.* After a few playful negs I head back and rejoin John. Not worth #closing.
He suggests the earlier group of 10s might be ready for another drink, so I locate them and re-open the set. I lightly start some kino with the tall blonde leader of the pack just to get some practice. Even though they're off limits, I am able to bring them back to our section of the room, but I lose the set when the bartender won't fucking fill the orders on our end of the bar. They get impatient and leave, and say they're heading for another bar that is really popular with the fake-ID crowd. We're not interested, so we thank them and roll off.
I hit the men's room and on the way over I see a guy and a girl hugging in the vestibule, blocking the doors. I lightly pat the girl on her back and say something like "get a room, guys" and slide them over so I can walk by. Coming out of the toilet I find her WAITING for me, and she's a total 9 little hottie with a pouty little face, but she's soooo young she's probably got a fake ID. I run some situational material on her LED glowing necklace and get her to let me play with it. She's loving it. I tell her she needs to take it off because it's going to attract the "wrong" kind of attention from the creepers in the bar (which is actually true - there are some notorious weirdos in this place). While I'm telling her this, I'm playing with her necklace and openly feeling up this girl's tits right in front of her boyfriend, who's frozen out behind her. Out of the corner of my eye I can see he's getting totally irate and I roll off before the kid tweaks out and pulls a knife.
When I get back to our spot, John takes another shot at the toilet and I open set of total hotties 8, 8, 10 and I run some excellent game. They are just finishing their drinks and want to split to go to a different bar, so I roll off them and open an adjacent three set just for sport (w/ a 7 and two 9s). I use a canned opener just to break the ice, then I tried a false time constraint just to see how it works. I'm getting a vibe like I might lose this set because right after I open them up the phones come out. The FTC works, so switch to situational material and it goes great. My convo is fluid, I run some of my best material and really get my natural game down before I #close these girls for three more phone numbers. I bring John into the set after he comes back from the toilet. It's getting late and he wants to check out another place so we roll off and head for the front.
Before we even get out the door, John spies a two-set lurking in a dark corner. There's a 10++ doe-eyed hottie and her 8 friend sitting there, and he opens them up pretty smoothly while I square our tab on our last two beers. He brings me into the set and we're strong with these girls for an hour or so. He takes the 8 and I'm all over the 10 with negs, kino, push-pull, the whole thing and she's loving it. At first I touch her arm and she recoils, but then I get playful with her and she starts to really respond to my touch. I have my hands on her legs as she sits in a tall bar stool. I do ESP and magic tricks on her, using it as opportunities for reward and kino. Eventually I successfully use a canned line for a lead in to a kiss ("sssh. Do you want to kiss me? Her: "Uhh, yes") and then I k-close and #close easily the hottest girl I've ever been with in my life. She's 22, long dark hair and just jaw-droppingly gorgeous. Oh my gaaaawd! *bites fist*
John really wants to leave now, so we thank the girls and roll off. The hottie's phone number is burning a fucking hole in my pocket. We bounce to a lounge place where the crowd is not as heavy but John opens an adjacent three-set (two girls one guy) and one of the girls makes the unfortunate mistake of getting into a battle of the wits with me. She's a little drunk and I've only had a couple of beers, so she's in for a rough ride. I try to work the whole group but I get stuck with this chick with her boyfriend who is from Rome. She rounds on me, calling me an "asshole" and a "misogynist," and I have a blast shutting her down right in front of her Italian boyfriend, who has become more my new buddy than her boy toy. I think this dude would have dumped her and let me fuck him in the ass right on the bar if I wanted to. John games the hot single girl in the set. He gets her phone number and passes it off to me just as they flick on the lights.
After a monstrous piss, John and I bounce to the all-night pizza place and start gaming drunk chicks waiting in line for slices. Drunk girls are sooo easy to pick up. I open like 4 sets, but they're low quality. The girls can't focus or keep up a convo - they're too wasted. If I was alone I would have kept running game on the hot girls to see if I could have f-closed one of them, but John's getting worried that he hasn't heard from his other friend. A chumpy kid starts puking on the floor in the pizza shop and we bolt before it turns into a puke-fest, leaving our recently opened sets behind us. After exchanging numbers, I head for my car and John for his hotel. We're tired but jazzed, and I go home thinking I've rarely had a night out like this.
Total sets opened: I have no idea... so many I lost count
Total #closes: 6, not counting the girl who's number John got and passed off to me.
Total k-closes: 1 but man she was so fucking hot it was like kissing 5 more average girls
Lessons learned:
Tonight everything clicked. Figuring out what it takes to get in-state is THE most important thing you can do for your game. I did some shopping, was cocky-playful with the shop girls and that was like priming the pump. Going to the bar and meeting John was almost like the permission I needed to just let it roll. I ran perfect game last night, to the point where I was using all the things I've learned about approach, body language, kino escalation, etc. fluidly and without thinking about it. On top of it we had a great time and I'm sure the girls we hung out with had a great time too.
I'm so glad I stayed at the pub and didn't go over to the disco like I've done in the past. I've learned my lesson - stay away from places that just make me feel chumpy. The disco is so loud and so packed you literally can't move. There's no point in going there because from what I've found the pub was a much better place to pick up girls anyway. The only time I've had fun in the disco was bouncing a set there to do some dancing. And I'm only going back if I am bringing girls with me and I reserve a VIP sofa. If I bounce a set there I want to be sure I have a place to isolate and kino-escalate. I'm NOT going there to try to pick up women.
Honestly, I would have gone home happy after I successfully did my first street pickup with a 10, so everything else that happened felt like winning the lottery. Street pickup is extremely hard, especially at night on a poorly lit street. This girl was actually walking towards me and heading the opposite direction, which is actually a no-no in street pickup - objects in motion tend to stay in motion. It was just as natural as anything to stop, talk to her over my shoulder, and suddenly I've got this total HB on my arm walking down the street, her other hand on her iPhone as we follow the bouncing blue dot on the map and I'm running material on her mind and my hands on her hot little body.
In hind-sight, John and I should have bounced our last strong set to another location and continued to run game on them. I didn't realize how late it was so we wouldn't have had much time to go to another bar. A lot of people go to the pizza place or head over to a Denny's on the outskirts of town. I can't really afford to get a hotel room whenever I go out, so f-closing a girl on a cold approach is unlikely unless we go back to her place or if she's willing to drive the half hour outside the city to my apartment. With that said, it's not out of the question to see if we can get the girls to continue the party at their houses for the ones who live nearby.
There were a couple of spots in my game where there the conversation lulled, but having a great wing there to bounce off of was awesome for keeping the convo fun and fluid. John was the perfect wing - he was completely selfless, opening sets for me, closing out obstacles and being like everybody's best friend (he's a pretty well off sales exec). I know that every night out is not going to be like this. I am going to really need to work on my material to keep the routine stacking forward because unless I meet some cool guys to hang out with, I can't always rely on having a wingman there to help. Even being in great state, I probably wouldn't have been as successful if I was out alone.
The all-night pizza place seems like a great place to go meet the girls who have the stamina to drink until 1:00 am and *still* want to stay out and party after last call. In the future, I may have good luck picking up tipsy girls here for easy f-closes.
It's Saturday late afternoon. I head into the city to go out shopping, intending to do a little browsing, talking up shop girls to get into state and then go sarging in Whole Foods before I hit the night club district. By the time I get downtown, it's around 4:30 pm and I'm hitting all the classy stores. I pick up some awesome deals at a high class merchant, run some game on the bored but totally hot 10 girl behind the counter for a while and score awesome deals on some new threads. She doesn't seem that interested in me because she keeps her face glued to her phone, so I roll off. I head to a nearby upscale consignment shop and hit some more awesome finds on clothes. From the moment I walk in the store, I own the place - everyone in there thinks I'm the king shit. The girls are not hot but it doesn't matter - I'm there to get into state and maybe find some good deals on clothes. I'm telling jokes to the shop girls and the other customers in the store and they're all loving it. I sweep up the place and the girl behind the counter is giving me free jewelry and shit and practically throwing her phone number at me. Awesome. First #close.
I walk downtown heading for a high-class men's clothes store I've heard about. It's a bit obscure so I'm having a hard time finding it. A total 10 girl is walking towards me, and with one smooth, perfectly timed, over-the-shoulder movement I ask her if she knows where "Wharf Street" is. She not only stops and turns to me, but she starts engaging me in convo. Turns out she has no idea where the street is but she pulls out an iPhone and uses the map feature to pinpoint the location. We draw close together so we can look at the screen, and I put my hand lightly on her back. I convince her I'm not going to be able to find it without her and her gagdet, because I'm not from the city (which is true). So just like that I get this absolutely beautiful woman to accompany me willingly to the very doorstep of the clothes store. I make her take my arm, run a bit more kino - she's laughing at my jokes and touching her hair and otherwise giving me major IOIs. We get there but now she's now feeling bad because she's late for meeting some friends for dinner. Before she puts her phone away I #close with her and she heads off and I go shopping. This was my first street pickup and it was a total 10 and a total success! And it's my second #close of the evening.
After a bit more shopping, I head out to the shopping mall, partly to browse for some new accessories/jewelry and also to get more in-state. I go to my favorite jewelry store and there is a different girl there than the time I went last, but she's just as hot. I get her to try on a bunch of jewelry on me. She's wearing a huge rock on her ring finger but I don't give a shit. I pick out like 7 things and I make her test fit every piece of jewelry on me - rings, necklaces, wrist bands - everything I can find that suits me and is guaranteed to get a lot of skin-to-skin contact. I'm making jokes and being playful and she's loving it. She has this crazy loud laugh, like a monkey in heat. I make her put a necklace on me that I bought at another store and she does it willingly. I thank her, kiss her hand which makes her gush with embarrassment, and then roll off.
After a little more shopping in the mall, I head to my favorite bookstore and start building some witty rapport with a hot but freakishly disabled employee with no hands (thalidomide baby). The whole time I'm talking I'm trying to imagine getting a hand job from a girl with stumps for hands. How exactly does that work? We talk for a while before she gets called away on her walkie-talkie. I transition to a hot geeky chick sitting on a stool reading in the business/marketing section. She's cute but I can't get her into a talkative mood, so I roll off. Unfortunately, there are not many hot girls in the store. Leaving the bookstore, I realize that it's like 9:30 and I decide it's too late to go to Whole Foods, or even to head home to shower, so I just head into the night club district. I'm wearing cool clothes, but in the car I change into one of my new shirts, add some of cool new jewelry/accessories and then move out.
First stop is my favorite pub. I order a beer and pick a section of bar to lean back and survey the situation. There are a few hot sets, but the place is still pretty empty and I still feel like I need to get into state because my energy level gets sapped whenever I enter a bar. I start a convo with a chumpy-looking guy around my age sitting in a stool beside me. I'm telling you that's the best fucking decision I've made all night. I'm dolled up in my leather, spike hair, earrings and tons of jewelry and he's like Mr. Conservative button down sales dude from out of town. But after a half hour of convo Mr. Conservative (John) totally becomes my wing, opening sets for me, buying rounds of drinks for me and the girls, and we're just out there totally in state having a great time. He's married, but he is a natural PUA. Talking with him about his game, I learn that he's never studied pickup but he just has natural talent and no fear and pretty good form when it comes to gaming girls. I don't let on that I'm studying pickup - I just watch this guy's style and start having fun.
We're standing in the one place where people can get drinks, and with the crowd now picking up, there is a constant stream of hot women. John leans over his shoulder and opens a four set of fucking 10 10 10s queuing up to order drinks we start talking - turns out they're all students at the university where I work (technically off limits for me for dates and f-closes) so we game them for a while and then roll off. It's OK - it was a warmup for me.
John is doing some AFC stuff like DLV'ing himself and buying girls rounds of drinks, but I'm just playing quiet because he's otherwise being such a cool guy. He tries to open a four-set coming up to get drinks - girls that were very hot but very young and their bitch shields were extremely high. His opener is sloppy and one of the girls shoots back "fuck you, dude." Now he sees it as a challenge and is loving it. I try to rescue the set by playfully negging one of her friends, but the set is lost. I was feeling like I could have opened these girls much more successfully on my own and probably at least #closed them, but I didn't really feel any attraction to them. Bitchy girls are a turn off for me, and for the most part these girls had B-I-T-C-H written all over them.
We go back to chode mode and John tells me we're getting interest from a group of four cougars on the other side of the room. I'm totally in state, getting into a zone where I'm not really thinking about what I'm doing, I'm just doing it. Now that I'm in GOD mode, fearless and willing to talk with anyone, I head over to go to run some game. Turns out they are not nearly so hot up close as they are across the room. I use a canned opener then run some situational stuff but they're not very bright - it was a birthday party for the youngest one who just turned 40, so they might have been drunk. Birthday girl was a total fatty... *eeech.* After a few playful negs I head back and rejoin John. Not worth #closing.
He suggests the earlier group of 10s might be ready for another drink, so I locate them and re-open the set. I lightly start some kino with the tall blonde leader of the pack just to get some practice. Even though they're off limits, I am able to bring them back to our section of the room, but I lose the set when the bartender won't fucking fill the orders on our end of the bar. They get impatient and leave, and say they're heading for another bar that is really popular with the fake-ID crowd. We're not interested, so we thank them and roll off.
I hit the men's room and on the way over I see a guy and a girl hugging in the vestibule, blocking the doors. I lightly pat the girl on her back and say something like "get a room, guys" and slide them over so I can walk by. Coming out of the toilet I find her WAITING for me, and she's a total 9 little hottie with a pouty little face, but she's soooo young she's probably got a fake ID. I run some situational material on her LED glowing necklace and get her to let me play with it. She's loving it. I tell her she needs to take it off because it's going to attract the "wrong" kind of attention from the creepers in the bar (which is actually true - there are some notorious weirdos in this place). While I'm telling her this, I'm playing with her necklace and openly feeling up this girl's tits right in front of her boyfriend, who's frozen out behind her. Out of the corner of my eye I can see he's getting totally irate and I roll off before the kid tweaks out and pulls a knife.
When I get back to our spot, John takes another shot at the toilet and I open set of total hotties 8, 8, 10 and I run some excellent game. They are just finishing their drinks and want to split to go to a different bar, so I roll off them and open an adjacent three set just for sport (w/ a 7 and two 9s). I use a canned opener just to break the ice, then I tried a false time constraint just to see how it works. I'm getting a vibe like I might lose this set because right after I open them up the phones come out. The FTC works, so switch to situational material and it goes great. My convo is fluid, I run some of my best material and really get my natural game down before I #close these girls for three more phone numbers. I bring John into the set after he comes back from the toilet. It's getting late and he wants to check out another place so we roll off and head for the front.
Before we even get out the door, John spies a two-set lurking in a dark corner. There's a 10++ doe-eyed hottie and her 8 friend sitting there, and he opens them up pretty smoothly while I square our tab on our last two beers. He brings me into the set and we're strong with these girls for an hour or so. He takes the 8 and I'm all over the 10 with negs, kino, push-pull, the whole thing and she's loving it. At first I touch her arm and she recoils, but then I get playful with her and she starts to really respond to my touch. I have my hands on her legs as she sits in a tall bar stool. I do ESP and magic tricks on her, using it as opportunities for reward and kino. Eventually I successfully use a canned line for a lead in to a kiss ("sssh. Do you want to kiss me? Her: "Uhh, yes") and then I k-close and #close easily the hottest girl I've ever been with in my life. She's 22, long dark hair and just jaw-droppingly gorgeous. Oh my gaaaawd! *bites fist*
John really wants to leave now, so we thank the girls and roll off. The hottie's phone number is burning a fucking hole in my pocket. We bounce to a lounge place where the crowd is not as heavy but John opens an adjacent three-set (two girls one guy) and one of the girls makes the unfortunate mistake of getting into a battle of the wits with me. She's a little drunk and I've only had a couple of beers, so she's in for a rough ride. I try to work the whole group but I get stuck with this chick with her boyfriend who is from Rome. She rounds on me, calling me an "asshole" and a "misogynist," and I have a blast shutting her down right in front of her Italian boyfriend, who has become more my new buddy than her boy toy. I think this dude would have dumped her and let me fuck him in the ass right on the bar if I wanted to. John games the hot single girl in the set. He gets her phone number and passes it off to me just as they flick on the lights.
After a monstrous piss, John and I bounce to the all-night pizza place and start gaming drunk chicks waiting in line for slices. Drunk girls are sooo easy to pick up. I open like 4 sets, but they're low quality. The girls can't focus or keep up a convo - they're too wasted. If I was alone I would have kept running game on the hot girls to see if I could have f-closed one of them, but John's getting worried that he hasn't heard from his other friend. A chumpy kid starts puking on the floor in the pizza shop and we bolt before it turns into a puke-fest, leaving our recently opened sets behind us. After exchanging numbers, I head for my car and John for his hotel. We're tired but jazzed, and I go home thinking I've rarely had a night out like this.
Total sets opened: I have no idea... so many I lost count
Total #closes: 6, not counting the girl who's number John got and passed off to me.
Total k-closes: 1 but man she was so fucking hot it was like kissing 5 more average girls
Lessons learned:
Tonight everything clicked. Figuring out what it takes to get in-state is THE most important thing you can do for your game. I did some shopping, was cocky-playful with the shop girls and that was like priming the pump. Going to the bar and meeting John was almost like the permission I needed to just let it roll. I ran perfect game last night, to the point where I was using all the things I've learned about approach, body language, kino escalation, etc. fluidly and without thinking about it. On top of it we had a great time and I'm sure the girls we hung out with had a great time too.
I'm so glad I stayed at the pub and didn't go over to the disco like I've done in the past. I've learned my lesson - stay away from places that just make me feel chumpy. The disco is so loud and so packed you literally can't move. There's no point in going there because from what I've found the pub was a much better place to pick up girls anyway. The only time I've had fun in the disco was bouncing a set there to do some dancing. And I'm only going back if I am bringing girls with me and I reserve a VIP sofa. If I bounce a set there I want to be sure I have a place to isolate and kino-escalate. I'm NOT going there to try to pick up women.
Honestly, I would have gone home happy after I successfully did my first street pickup with a 10, so everything else that happened felt like winning the lottery. Street pickup is extremely hard, especially at night on a poorly lit street. This girl was actually walking towards me and heading the opposite direction, which is actually a no-no in street pickup - objects in motion tend to stay in motion. It was just as natural as anything to stop, talk to her over my shoulder, and suddenly I've got this total HB on my arm walking down the street, her other hand on her iPhone as we follow the bouncing blue dot on the map and I'm running material on her mind and my hands on her hot little body.
In hind-sight, John and I should have bounced our last strong set to another location and continued to run game on them. I didn't realize how late it was so we wouldn't have had much time to go to another bar. A lot of people go to the pizza place or head over to a Denny's on the outskirts of town. I can't really afford to get a hotel room whenever I go out, so f-closing a girl on a cold approach is unlikely unless we go back to her place or if she's willing to drive the half hour outside the city to my apartment. With that said, it's not out of the question to see if we can get the girls to continue the party at their houses for the ones who live nearby.
There were a couple of spots in my game where there the conversation lulled, but having a great wing there to bounce off of was awesome for keeping the convo fun and fluid. John was the perfect wing - he was completely selfless, opening sets for me, closing out obstacles and being like everybody's best friend (he's a pretty well off sales exec). I know that every night out is not going to be like this. I am going to really need to work on my material to keep the routine stacking forward because unless I meet some cool guys to hang out with, I can't always rely on having a wingman there to help. Even being in great state, I probably wouldn't have been as successful if I was out alone.
The all-night pizza place seems like a great place to go meet the girls who have the stamina to drink until 1:00 am and *still* want to stay out and party after last call. In the future, I may have good luck picking up tipsy girls here for easy f-closes.
Field Report #4 I'm a complete choad
It was Saturday night. I was sill groggy from a late Friday night of sarging. I didn't sleep well, and then spent the day on work stuff trying to get caught up. My frame of mind sucked. 10:00 PM rolled around and I don't know where the time went - fucking around doing dishes and laundry and just being a tool. I shower and finally get out the door around 10:40, thanks in part to Chief, who threatened to throw me out of PUA Chat if I didn't get going. The material I worked up from the night before is still fresh in my mind.
I get to the night club district around 11:15, planning a repeat of the previous night's successes with some minor improvements, but the evening takes a different turn. I start in the friendly neighborhood pub/lounge that's become sort of my home base. Before ordering my one beer of the evening, I cruise through the place checking out the scenery. Unfortunately, there was not a lot of interesting wildlife to look at. I spot a cute skinny 8 girl with a pixie-ish face sitting at a tall 4-up table by herself, engrossed in a little glowing screen. There were full glasses of beer everywhere on her table. As I walk by, I throw a casual neg comment over my shoulder but smiling. "You're friends left you all alone, huh? That wasn't very nice of them." She looks up from her phone and I catch an exasperated throw of the hands out of the corner of my eye. A few minutes later, I'm in the next room from the 8 and through the doorway I see her friends are back. One of them is looking away so I can't see her, the other is a pretty but young looking blonde 7 who smiles at me and does not break eye contact.
After a minute or so I re-approach the 8 with an opener "Oh, it looks like your friends are back. They didn't abandon you after all" (smiling but theatrically disapproving eyes at the new arrivals). The 3rd girl who's back was turned to me before turns out to be a horrid black-haired she-beast with bug eyes. It was an awkward table set up - tall tables, the pixie-8 on my left, the Beast on my right, and the cute 7 on the other side of the table back against the wall. The Beast pipes up "Oh, we needed to urinate." Classy. Negs all over this one, but she's completely unfazed. I think these girls are drunk.
The Beast lays into me with some "who are you?" bullshit and I handle her. It forces a round of introductions. The Beast and the 8 reach over and start manhandling each other, turns out they're lesbians. Figures. The pretty 7 in the back looks like she's having fun, but I think she's wasted. The lesbians are in control of this show. I challenge them, asking if they were "really" lesbians or if they just did this as a routine to keep away guys. The 8 pipes in that they have been going out for about a year. This is not a great routine but it keeps me in the set. Now they're fixated on ages. They make me guess everyone's age - I am way too high. I tell the bossy Beast she looks 29, turns out last week was her 21st birthday. Ha! The others are 23 and 24. Things are not looking promising. I make them guess my age, they guess 7 years younger than I really am. I fess up with my age (I'm such a shit head when it comes to truthfulness). This will shortly come back to haunt me.
I use my routines and it barely keeps me in the set. I use the dick-sucking piece which thrills the lesbians but makes the pretty but conservatively dressed 7 look a little disturbed. The "speaking Braille" routine falls flat. Either these girls are really drunk, a little stupid, or both. After I explain a little bit (practicing... Braille.... on a girl.... ) Duh! It finally clicks and elicits a chuckle but not nearly the peals of laughter I had from last night. The two lesbians go out side for a smoke, thankfully leaving me with the pretty 7.
She's cute in a girl-next-door sort of way, but obviously sheltered. Her head is wobbly from being tipsy. I slide into the Beast's seat to talk with the 7 almost over my shoulder, but with a posture that looks like I could get up and leave at any minute. She seems to be loving the attention and isn't afraid to rub her legs up against my elbow as I recline slightly on the barstool. I'm feeling definite A2 as we talk for a minute. Turns out she's not working, not a student, not doing anything. She went to baking school and hasn't gotten a job yet. Then the lesbos return and the Beast pitches a fit until I get out of her chair.
Gradually, like a slow motion train wreck, I see this set hitting the toilet. The Beast turns on the momma-bear instinct and starts protecting the 7. She freezes me out for being too old for her cute little 24 year old friend and tries to tell me to get lost. 7 girl doesn't protest because she is either too drunk to care or doesn't have a spine.
This was my first massive shit test out in the field, and frankly I was stumped. I didn't know what to do. I gave 7 girl one more chance for redemption but beastly lesbian planted herself firmly in charge. Instead of looking desperate or pleading, I took the "no-big-deal" high road and left the set. I consoled myself with the fact that I'd given the 7 a business card earlier in the interaction, but I know she won't use it.
There was no one else I wanted to talk to in the pub. It was a weird crowd. All fat girls and dudes. Leaving the pub, I went to check out some of my other places but they were packed like sardines, or the lines were crazy long to get in, or the crowd inside was awful. I checked out a nearby wine bar that looks like a promising spot for isolation/escalation, but was disappointed in how small and kind of lame it is. It is the only option on the nightclub district for a bounce to a less crowded, more intimate place, so I may just need to make it work. I checked out a popular Mexican restaurant with an upstairs lounge - the place is an absolute dump and the girls in the place are trailer-trash fatties. A pass through the my standard disco proves out my previous assessment - lots of HBs but too loud and jammed with people to open a set. It was jammed the night before, and Friday is not their "on" night. When you're smooshed up against some chump's sweaty back just trying to stand, (and everyone else is too), it's hard to open a set. I actually heard two girls shout at each other "This fucking sucks!" as they were trying to push through the crush of people. Sensing defeat, I pack it up and head for the car after about 2 hours of being out.
Total sets attempted: 1
Sets successfully opened: 1
# closes: 0
k-closes: 0
Lessons learned:
Going out when you're tired or not in a good frame of mind will kill your game, no matter how much you try to psych yourself up for it. Maybe if I had a wing or I was with a group of guys, I could have picked up on some of their energy. I forced myself to go out because it was Saturday night and I felt it was my obligation to do it. The problem was that my brain wasn't engaged. Sarging isn't second nature to me yet, so I've got to prime the pump. Nightclubs are not my favorite places. The one time I've had success at the clubs, I was rested and warmed up from sarging at the bookstore or at my favorite upscale grocery store. This time I hit the clubs cold turkey and it was a disaster.
I also had my first shit test today and I didn't do well. This ugly man-hating lesbian chick was completely killing my game, and at the time I saw no way I could get around her. She was not only playing guard dog for her friend, but she was a physical barrier between me and the 7. The Beast primarily shitted on me about my age, saying I was too old for their cute little petite friend. During our age-guessing routine they guessed my age at around 30, and if I had just left it there instead of fessing up about my age, I might have stayed in the set at least for a #close.
I caved at the shit test like a choad, and that I'm sure didn't score points with the 7, who likely does (and should) perceive me as weak. In hindsight I was thinking I could have gone around behind the Beast, offered my hand to the 7 to try to draw her out of the guarded position she was sitting in and and try to isolate her at least long enough to escalate a bit and get to #close. She was so far away on the other side of the table. Isolation is key, especially if the friends are as caustic as this bunch and the target is completely inaccessible.
Identifying and isolating the target appears to be THE crucial skill in sarging to a # or k-close. I seem to be doing OK opening sets and building value, but I'm not getting close to a kiss close. Instead of rapidly isolating the target and peeling her away, I spent 15 minutes trying to make the whole table like me. I also need to find a better place to sarge. The discos are filled with hot women but the places are tiny and the layout is awful. In the one disco I've been going to, last night I saw that they actually have a "VIP" area in the back, but I overhead that need to pay the doorman to get a sofa. I'm not going to even think about spending money on a VIP area until I can figure out how to sarge that place successfully. There is a string of three large bars all on one street on the other side of downtown. Next weekend I might try that section of town.
Timing may have a lot to do with my success in the disco. All nightspots go through a crowd phases, - empty, lightly crowded, completely slammed, then empty as the night starts to close. I have been arriving around 11:00, which probably sounds early but in my city is peak. Timing my visit earlier before the place gets completely loaded might be a better strategy. If I was willing to stand out in below freezing temperatures I might have been able to find a good set to chat up in line, but my choad brain was not thinking like that. I had failure written all over me so I just went home.
I get to the night club district around 11:15, planning a repeat of the previous night's successes with some minor improvements, but the evening takes a different turn. I start in the friendly neighborhood pub/lounge that's become sort of my home base. Before ordering my one beer of the evening, I cruise through the place checking out the scenery. Unfortunately, there was not a lot of interesting wildlife to look at. I spot a cute skinny 8 girl with a pixie-ish face sitting at a tall 4-up table by herself, engrossed in a little glowing screen. There were full glasses of beer everywhere on her table. As I walk by, I throw a casual neg comment over my shoulder but smiling. "You're friends left you all alone, huh? That wasn't very nice of them." She looks up from her phone and I catch an exasperated throw of the hands out of the corner of my eye. A few minutes later, I'm in the next room from the 8 and through the doorway I see her friends are back. One of them is looking away so I can't see her, the other is a pretty but young looking blonde 7 who smiles at me and does not break eye contact.
After a minute or so I re-approach the 8 with an opener "Oh, it looks like your friends are back. They didn't abandon you after all" (smiling but theatrically disapproving eyes at the new arrivals). The 3rd girl who's back was turned to me before turns out to be a horrid black-haired she-beast with bug eyes. It was an awkward table set up - tall tables, the pixie-8 on my left, the Beast on my right, and the cute 7 on the other side of the table back against the wall. The Beast pipes up "Oh, we needed to urinate." Classy. Negs all over this one, but she's completely unfazed. I think these girls are drunk.
The Beast lays into me with some "who are you?" bullshit and I handle her. It forces a round of introductions. The Beast and the 8 reach over and start manhandling each other, turns out they're lesbians. Figures. The pretty 7 in the back looks like she's having fun, but I think she's wasted. The lesbians are in control of this show. I challenge them, asking if they were "really" lesbians or if they just did this as a routine to keep away guys. The 8 pipes in that they have been going out for about a year. This is not a great routine but it keeps me in the set. Now they're fixated on ages. They make me guess everyone's age - I am way too high. I tell the bossy Beast she looks 29, turns out last week was her 21st birthday. Ha! The others are 23 and 24. Things are not looking promising. I make them guess my age, they guess 7 years younger than I really am. I fess up with my age (I'm such a shit head when it comes to truthfulness). This will shortly come back to haunt me.
I use my routines and it barely keeps me in the set. I use the dick-sucking piece which thrills the lesbians but makes the pretty but conservatively dressed 7 look a little disturbed. The "speaking Braille" routine falls flat. Either these girls are really drunk, a little stupid, or both. After I explain a little bit (practicing... Braille.... on a girl.... ) Duh! It finally clicks and elicits a chuckle but not nearly the peals of laughter I had from last night. The two lesbians go out side for a smoke, thankfully leaving me with the pretty 7.
She's cute in a girl-next-door sort of way, but obviously sheltered. Her head is wobbly from being tipsy. I slide into the Beast's seat to talk with the 7 almost over my shoulder, but with a posture that looks like I could get up and leave at any minute. She seems to be loving the attention and isn't afraid to rub her legs up against my elbow as I recline slightly on the barstool. I'm feeling definite A2 as we talk for a minute. Turns out she's not working, not a student, not doing anything. She went to baking school and hasn't gotten a job yet. Then the lesbos return and the Beast pitches a fit until I get out of her chair.
Gradually, like a slow motion train wreck, I see this set hitting the toilet. The Beast turns on the momma-bear instinct and starts protecting the 7. She freezes me out for being too old for her cute little 24 year old friend and tries to tell me to get lost. 7 girl doesn't protest because she is either too drunk to care or doesn't have a spine.
This was my first massive shit test out in the field, and frankly I was stumped. I didn't know what to do. I gave 7 girl one more chance for redemption but beastly lesbian planted herself firmly in charge. Instead of looking desperate or pleading, I took the "no-big-deal" high road and left the set. I consoled myself with the fact that I'd given the 7 a business card earlier in the interaction, but I know she won't use it.
There was no one else I wanted to talk to in the pub. It was a weird crowd. All fat girls and dudes. Leaving the pub, I went to check out some of my other places but they were packed like sardines, or the lines were crazy long to get in, or the crowd inside was awful. I checked out a nearby wine bar that looks like a promising spot for isolation/escalation, but was disappointed in how small and kind of lame it is. It is the only option on the nightclub district for a bounce to a less crowded, more intimate place, so I may just need to make it work. I checked out a popular Mexican restaurant with an upstairs lounge - the place is an absolute dump and the girls in the place are trailer-trash fatties. A pass through the my standard disco proves out my previous assessment - lots of HBs but too loud and jammed with people to open a set. It was jammed the night before, and Friday is not their "on" night. When you're smooshed up against some chump's sweaty back just trying to stand, (and everyone else is too), it's hard to open a set. I actually heard two girls shout at each other "This fucking sucks!" as they were trying to push through the crush of people. Sensing defeat, I pack it up and head for the car after about 2 hours of being out.
Total sets attempted: 1
Sets successfully opened: 1
# closes: 0
k-closes: 0
Lessons learned:
Going out when you're tired or not in a good frame of mind will kill your game, no matter how much you try to psych yourself up for it. Maybe if I had a wing or I was with a group of guys, I could have picked up on some of their energy. I forced myself to go out because it was Saturday night and I felt it was my obligation to do it. The problem was that my brain wasn't engaged. Sarging isn't second nature to me yet, so I've got to prime the pump. Nightclubs are not my favorite places. The one time I've had success at the clubs, I was rested and warmed up from sarging at the bookstore or at my favorite upscale grocery store. This time I hit the clubs cold turkey and it was a disaster.
I also had my first shit test today and I didn't do well. This ugly man-hating lesbian chick was completely killing my game, and at the time I saw no way I could get around her. She was not only playing guard dog for her friend, but she was a physical barrier between me and the 7. The Beast primarily shitted on me about my age, saying I was too old for their cute little petite friend. During our age-guessing routine they guessed my age at around 30, and if I had just left it there instead of fessing up about my age, I might have stayed in the set at least for a #close.
I caved at the shit test like a choad, and that I'm sure didn't score points with the 7, who likely does (and should) perceive me as weak. In hindsight I was thinking I could have gone around behind the Beast, offered my hand to the 7 to try to draw her out of the guarded position she was sitting in and and try to isolate her at least long enough to escalate a bit and get to #close. She was so far away on the other side of the table. Isolation is key, especially if the friends are as caustic as this bunch and the target is completely inaccessible.
Identifying and isolating the target appears to be THE crucial skill in sarging to a # or k-close. I seem to be doing OK opening sets and building value, but I'm not getting close to a kiss close. Instead of rapidly isolating the target and peeling her away, I spent 15 minutes trying to make the whole table like me. I also need to find a better place to sarge. The discos are filled with hot women but the places are tiny and the layout is awful. In the one disco I've been going to, last night I saw that they actually have a "VIP" area in the back, but I overhead that need to pay the doorman to get a sofa. I'm not going to even think about spending money on a VIP area until I can figure out how to sarge that place successfully. There is a string of three large bars all on one street on the other side of downtown. Next weekend I might try that section of town.
Timing may have a lot to do with my success in the disco. All nightspots go through a crowd phases, - empty, lightly crowded, completely slammed, then empty as the night starts to close. I have been arriving around 11:00, which probably sounds early but in my city is peak. Timing my visit earlier before the place gets completely loaded might be a better strategy. If I was willing to stand out in below freezing temperatures I might have been able to find a good set to chat up in line, but my choad brain was not thinking like that. I had failure written all over me so I just went home.
Field Report #3 Hard lessons and good successes
If you've read some of my other posts, you'll know that I don't like discos. I look for other venues to practice in. Last night in 5 hours of sarging I crashed and burned where I was most comfortable, and had some real success and improvement in my least favorite spots.
The night started in a large, popular bookstore that has a café where patrons can take coffee into the aisles. Holding a coffee cup and browsing gives the illusion of being a shopper instead of a PUA.
I approached an 7 looking at a table of fitness/weight loss books. I laughed to myself (so she could hear it) did a 1/4 turn to her and said over my shoulder "Put down the damn fork! There, I just wrote every book on this table in 3 seconds. It's not that hard people!" as I waved my had over the table. The 7 chuckles and appears a little shocked and amused. The problem was, I froze and didn't have any other material. I back up a bit to change stance and knock a big metal sign off a display behind me, causing a huge racket. The 7 girl is like WTF? and turns to leave as a sales person comes to investigate. I crashed HARD and I felt like a first rate idiot. Not a great way to start the night.
I move to another section and spot an 8 looking at a shelf of personal finance books. Just to her left on the shelf is a book by Jim Cramer, that insane finance guy. He's featured on the cover with a smug, Fuck You If You Don't Buy My Book look on his face. I re-attempt the "Laugh-and-make-a-comment-about-something-funny" opener. "(Laugh to myself) Look at this guy, he's practically daring you to buy his book. It's a challenge." The 8 laughs and IOIs, smiling and initiating a conversation about funny books. We talk a little bit about Denis Leary, who she really likes. She seems genuinely interested but I run out of material and the convo peters out. "See ya later." Awkward exit. Damn. She was very cute, in a girl-next-door way.
As I'm driving home to shower, change clothes and get ready for the night club district, I'm pissed off at myself and wracking my brain for good, funny original stuff. I don't want to use any canned material - I am genuinely funny so I've been told, so I try thinking like a comedian instead of like an AFC and I come up with a couple of jokes/openers. In the shower, I set a goal for myself: Open a set in a friendly place, get to A3 and bounce them to one of the discos to use them as pawns/social proof, and #close at least once. I work on a few good stories/jokes during the drive back into the city.
I walk in to a friendly pub/lounge and with no anxiety and no second thought, I immediately open a two-set at the corner of the bar, a 6 and a beautiful 9, both mid-20s. They're sitting next to a very awkward and creepy/nerdy AFC who's silently watching television. Approaching the bar I ask the 6 "who her friend is," cocking my head towards Mr. Chump. She laughs and says "oh he's my boyfriend" with a smirk. They ask me why I'm there by myself, and I said I was single and wasn't looking for a date, although Mr. Chumpy is giving me the googly eyes - maybe he's trying to pick me up. They ask me if I like that, and I get off one of my first jokes: "No, I gave up sucking dick. Men don't know how to form relationships." They register shock and amusement and are hooked. Set is blown open.
The 6 completely dominates the conversation and goes into way too much boring detail about her job and possibly moving to another city. I interrupt her and recount her story completely backwards to make it silly and neg her on being over-technical, but with a subtle sexual undertone (laughter). The 6 is an office girl and the 9 is a student. They ask me what I do and I tell them "I'm a signmaker" (which is true) Turns out the 9 is a graphic design student, and she blasts me with IOIs, asking me all sorts of questions about my work. After a minute or so of being badgered with questions, I neg her for being too bossy and she should let her friend talk (laughter). Without getting into too much boring technical detail, I set them up for one of my new jokes. I tell them that I make all kinds of signs, indoor, outdoor, signs for the handicapped and blind, you know, those ones with the little bumps on them. (they nod) "After 4 years of being a signmaker, I still haven't learned to speak Braille." (9 looks at me quizzically, the 6 laughs) "It's not my fault. Every time I try to practice my Braille on a girl, I get slapped." Big laughter. IOIs flying all over from both girls.
9 girl looks around and start talking a little quietly to each other and with a little prodding, I am able to get them to spill the inside joke. Turns out they just spotted a creepy old guy who has been a fixture in the night club district for like 20 years. He looks like he just broke out of a mental institution. I joke, "Wow the dude's got game." They laugh and I tell them I'll bring him over and make introductions. They p'shaw, so I turn and walk directly at him like I'm going to go retrieve him. The girls freak out, begging me to come back. I know I'm definitely in with these girls.
6 girl has something to prove and she goes back into her boring over-technical job related story again. The 9 is looking bored, scanning the room and I catch her attention with my fingers and call her out for not paying attention by pointing at her eyes and then to my eyes and neg her for being too ADD (laughter). We get to talking about education, and I get to work a little piece of vulnerability/DHV Awww material by sharing with them my part time Masters research w/ blind and disabled kids (which is also true). They gobble it up.
We finish drinks and I suggest a bounce to the sports bar down the street that has a quieter section where I knew we can get a table. We have a drink there (I'm drinking cokes at this point because I had my one beer for the night). Turns out this place is 22yo-Chumpville. They're annoyed by getting hit on by drunk college kids, who literally break three bottles near us in 10 minutes of being there. We down our drinks and I bounce them to the disco further down the street so I can finally finish my social proof goal. Light kino on the 9, like touching her back as we move through crowds. She's a tall, skinny long haired brunette, dressed in skin-tight leather. Yowza.
We go in - place is loaded with HBs. They immediately want to hit the dance floor, so before they settle in, I move them around to the back of the club to "find a place to dance," meanwhile showing everyone in the place that they're with me. I lead the hot 9 by the hand through the crowd. The place is pretty packed and the music is so loud it's really hard to talk. While we're dancing I do a compliance check on the 6 - take her hand and spin her around, put my hand around her waist (she's thicker than I thought - eh). I am able to get off some jokes about some of the people acting badly on the dance floor. Unfortunately I am not able to use my two new friends to open any other sets because I can't get them off the dance floor. With the energy waning and sensing that they're looking to dump me and get ripping drunk, I find a time to naturally #close with both girls, a quick hug/polite cheek-peck and exit.
Next I take a quick spin through an adjacent club that I've never been in, attempt to open a 2-set with a 7 and a 9 and get shut down hard by the 7. Sensing I'm on a downward slope, but feeling I accomplished my goal for the night, I pack it in for the night.
Total sets attempted: 4
Sets opened: 2
# closes: 1 (with 2 girls)
k-closes: 0 (friendly hug/peck on cheek doesn't count)
Lessons learned:
Sarging in retail stores is not as ideal as I thought. Natural approaches are easier but keeping natural convo going can be tough. The sexuality of the playfulness needs to be scaled way back. If I'm going to do that, I need to have a lot more stories primed and read to go. Women aren't necessarily in bookstores to have fun and check out guys, they're shopping and their attraction switches aren't necessarily primed to be flipped. It's easy to look like an ass, too (the knocked over sign) and hard to recover from that. It seems like a good a place to practice icebreakers and maybe getting to A2 but there's little chance of starting kino at a bookstore without looking like a rapist. Could be a place to open a set and bounce, but there's no good locations nearby to bounce to. Any set opened here needs to go all the way to A3 and #close for a follow up Day 2, which will be difficult to do with no kino. The only reason to keep doing it is that I'm more likely to find smarter girls in the bookstore than at the disco, but one never knows...
Finding a natural context to work in some funny, original material is key no matter what the location. Success in the bookstore came from contextual ice breakers. In the bar it came from having two or three routines in my repertoire and being able to use them appropriately and effectively. This kept the convo going and getting past the opener and into solid A2 territory. Also key is finding the right atmosphere - where there are beautiful women and where the music is quiet enough to work my material.
I bounced my two ladies to the disco sheerly for my social proof goal and to maybe open more sets, but lost the set when I couldn't keep up the energy because of noise, lack of places to isolate/escalate. I suppose some NLP and body language work could have been a good substitute for verbal game, but I need to get my verbal & head game worked out before I move on to more advanced stuff. I was already at A3 and with a bit more playfulness and the right choice of locations, I might have been able to isolate the 9 and escalate a bit, but the bounce went bad. Finding that good destination is now essential to making this work, and that will be my next goal.
Back at the original pub/lounge, I confidently opened a set and ran with it instead of creating a false time constraint, circulating around, then coming back to them. I stayed with that first set and played them for the rest of the night. Had I worked the room a little bit, I might have found more hot girls, got more practice, and maybe even had a stronger rapport that could lead to Day 2 follow up.
The night started in a large, popular bookstore that has a café where patrons can take coffee into the aisles. Holding a coffee cup and browsing gives the illusion of being a shopper instead of a PUA.
I approached an 7 looking at a table of fitness/weight loss books. I laughed to myself (so she could hear it) did a 1/4 turn to her and said over my shoulder "Put down the damn fork! There, I just wrote every book on this table in 3 seconds. It's not that hard people!" as I waved my had over the table. The 7 chuckles and appears a little shocked and amused. The problem was, I froze and didn't have any other material. I back up a bit to change stance and knock a big metal sign off a display behind me, causing a huge racket. The 7 girl is like WTF? and turns to leave as a sales person comes to investigate. I crashed HARD and I felt like a first rate idiot. Not a great way to start the night.
I move to another section and spot an 8 looking at a shelf of personal finance books. Just to her left on the shelf is a book by Jim Cramer, that insane finance guy. He's featured on the cover with a smug, Fuck You If You Don't Buy My Book look on his face. I re-attempt the "Laugh-and-make-a-comment-about-something-funny" opener. "(Laugh to myself) Look at this guy, he's practically daring you to buy his book. It's a challenge." The 8 laughs and IOIs, smiling and initiating a conversation about funny books. We talk a little bit about Denis Leary, who she really likes. She seems genuinely interested but I run out of material and the convo peters out. "See ya later." Awkward exit. Damn. She was very cute, in a girl-next-door way.
As I'm driving home to shower, change clothes and get ready for the night club district, I'm pissed off at myself and wracking my brain for good, funny original stuff. I don't want to use any canned material - I am genuinely funny so I've been told, so I try thinking like a comedian instead of like an AFC and I come up with a couple of jokes/openers. In the shower, I set a goal for myself: Open a set in a friendly place, get to A3 and bounce them to one of the discos to use them as pawns/social proof, and #close at least once. I work on a few good stories/jokes during the drive back into the city.
I walk in to a friendly pub/lounge and with no anxiety and no second thought, I immediately open a two-set at the corner of the bar, a 6 and a beautiful 9, both mid-20s. They're sitting next to a very awkward and creepy/nerdy AFC who's silently watching television. Approaching the bar I ask the 6 "who her friend is," cocking my head towards Mr. Chump. She laughs and says "oh he's my boyfriend" with a smirk. They ask me why I'm there by myself, and I said I was single and wasn't looking for a date, although Mr. Chumpy is giving me the googly eyes - maybe he's trying to pick me up. They ask me if I like that, and I get off one of my first jokes: "No, I gave up sucking dick. Men don't know how to form relationships." They register shock and amusement and are hooked. Set is blown open.
The 6 completely dominates the conversation and goes into way too much boring detail about her job and possibly moving to another city. I interrupt her and recount her story completely backwards to make it silly and neg her on being over-technical, but with a subtle sexual undertone (laughter). The 6 is an office girl and the 9 is a student. They ask me what I do and I tell them "I'm a signmaker" (which is true) Turns out the 9 is a graphic design student, and she blasts me with IOIs, asking me all sorts of questions about my work. After a minute or so of being badgered with questions, I neg her for being too bossy and she should let her friend talk (laughter). Without getting into too much boring technical detail, I set them up for one of my new jokes. I tell them that I make all kinds of signs, indoor, outdoor, signs for the handicapped and blind, you know, those ones with the little bumps on them. (they nod) "After 4 years of being a signmaker, I still haven't learned to speak Braille." (9 looks at me quizzically, the 6 laughs) "It's not my fault. Every time I try to practice my Braille on a girl, I get slapped." Big laughter. IOIs flying all over from both girls.
9 girl looks around and start talking a little quietly to each other and with a little prodding, I am able to get them to spill the inside joke. Turns out they just spotted a creepy old guy who has been a fixture in the night club district for like 20 years. He looks like he just broke out of a mental institution. I joke, "Wow the dude's got game." They laugh and I tell them I'll bring him over and make introductions. They p'shaw, so I turn and walk directly at him like I'm going to go retrieve him. The girls freak out, begging me to come back. I know I'm definitely in with these girls.
6 girl has something to prove and she goes back into her boring over-technical job related story again. The 9 is looking bored, scanning the room and I catch her attention with my fingers and call her out for not paying attention by pointing at her eyes and then to my eyes and neg her for being too ADD (laughter). We get to talking about education, and I get to work a little piece of vulnerability/DHV Awww material by sharing with them my part time Masters research w/ blind and disabled kids (which is also true). They gobble it up.
We finish drinks and I suggest a bounce to the sports bar down the street that has a quieter section where I knew we can get a table. We have a drink there (I'm drinking cokes at this point because I had my one beer for the night). Turns out this place is 22yo-Chumpville. They're annoyed by getting hit on by drunk college kids, who literally break three bottles near us in 10 minutes of being there. We down our drinks and I bounce them to the disco further down the street so I can finally finish my social proof goal. Light kino on the 9, like touching her back as we move through crowds. She's a tall, skinny long haired brunette, dressed in skin-tight leather. Yowza.
We go in - place is loaded with HBs. They immediately want to hit the dance floor, so before they settle in, I move them around to the back of the club to "find a place to dance," meanwhile showing everyone in the place that they're with me. I lead the hot 9 by the hand through the crowd. The place is pretty packed and the music is so loud it's really hard to talk. While we're dancing I do a compliance check on the 6 - take her hand and spin her around, put my hand around her waist (she's thicker than I thought - eh). I am able to get off some jokes about some of the people acting badly on the dance floor. Unfortunately I am not able to use my two new friends to open any other sets because I can't get them off the dance floor. With the energy waning and sensing that they're looking to dump me and get ripping drunk, I find a time to naturally #close with both girls, a quick hug/polite cheek-peck and exit.
Next I take a quick spin through an adjacent club that I've never been in, attempt to open a 2-set with a 7 and a 9 and get shut down hard by the 7. Sensing I'm on a downward slope, but feeling I accomplished my goal for the night, I pack it in for the night.
Total sets attempted: 4
Sets opened: 2
# closes: 1 (with 2 girls)
k-closes: 0 (friendly hug/peck on cheek doesn't count)
Lessons learned:
Sarging in retail stores is not as ideal as I thought. Natural approaches are easier but keeping natural convo going can be tough. The sexuality of the playfulness needs to be scaled way back. If I'm going to do that, I need to have a lot more stories primed and read to go. Women aren't necessarily in bookstores to have fun and check out guys, they're shopping and their attraction switches aren't necessarily primed to be flipped. It's easy to look like an ass, too (the knocked over sign) and hard to recover from that. It seems like a good a place to practice icebreakers and maybe getting to A2 but there's little chance of starting kino at a bookstore without looking like a rapist. Could be a place to open a set and bounce, but there's no good locations nearby to bounce to. Any set opened here needs to go all the way to A3 and #close for a follow up Day 2, which will be difficult to do with no kino. The only reason to keep doing it is that I'm more likely to find smarter girls in the bookstore than at the disco, but one never knows...
Finding a natural context to work in some funny, original material is key no matter what the location. Success in the bookstore came from contextual ice breakers. In the bar it came from having two or three routines in my repertoire and being able to use them appropriately and effectively. This kept the convo going and getting past the opener and into solid A2 territory. Also key is finding the right atmosphere - where there are beautiful women and where the music is quiet enough to work my material.
I bounced my two ladies to the disco sheerly for my social proof goal and to maybe open more sets, but lost the set when I couldn't keep up the energy because of noise, lack of places to isolate/escalate. I suppose some NLP and body language work could have been a good substitute for verbal game, but I need to get my verbal & head game worked out before I move on to more advanced stuff. I was already at A3 and with a bit more playfulness and the right choice of locations, I might have been able to isolate the 9 and escalate a bit, but the bounce went bad. Finding that good destination is now essential to making this work, and that will be my next goal.
Back at the original pub/lounge, I confidently opened a set and ran with it instead of creating a false time constraint, circulating around, then coming back to them. I stayed with that first set and played them for the rest of the night. Had I worked the room a little bit, I might have found more hot girls, got more practice, and maybe even had a stronger rapport that could lead to Day 2 follow up.
Field Report #2 A young professionals networking event
Today I had a last minute opportunity to sarge in another non-disco event although it took place in a fairly swank hotel bar/lounge. It was a networking event for a young professionals group, sort of like a chamber of commerce but for the under-40 set. So I get there and the place is fairly packed. It's also big - much bigger than I thought for a fairly small city that I live in. It was far from a target rich environment, but there are a lot of people, lots and lots of AFCs and a good range of cute girls. For an under 40 event, this place had a lot of gate crashers too - as in older men AND women.
So I start talking with a girl who's a little beastly but obviously fun. She has that "I'm from New York" bitch attitude going which I fucking hate. Every female New Yorker I've met outside of that state does it - they will never the hell shut up about being from New York. Whatever - she's mildly amusing to talk to and a boatload of a lot of fun to neg. She was the warmup convo.
I pass her off to some web designer guy and transition to open a nearby two-set of 20-something ladies who were sitting on a sofa chatting amongst themselves by a fireplace. Both were probably mid-20s and hot (8s) in an artsy chick sort of way. Instant rapport. Sadly, turns out they're very open about being lesbians (and girlfriends with each other) but both of them want me to quote some work for them for their respective businesses, so that was a score. They were very willing with their info, so maybe a threeway? Ha! The most hilarious thing was that during our interaction, this total AFC from a catering company barges in on our conversation like a total tool, drops two business cards on the coffee table for the ladies and ignores me then tries to just run away. I challenge him, saying "hey dude, you got a card for me?" He looks at the girls then gives me a completely chumpy shrug and smile. I whisper in a loud voice "dude, they're not interested in you," but Chumpy doesn't get it and the girls get a chuckle. Natural exit.
I did some business mingling with guys which was really good - got a lot of good contacts. After figuring I was done for the night, I spot and open a three set with two girls and a guy by approaching the guy first and introducing myself. I chatted with him a bit about his business, told him about mine, (he was an AFC but was trying very hard to act cool) and then segued into convo with the ladies. Turns out they're both massage therapists. Yah! And neither is with the guy - they all just met. One was a chub but pretty and the other one was slim but a weak 7 strong 6. AFC dude starts clamoring to go on one of the tours of the conference rooms/luxury suites, but 7 girl is now caught in convo by a creepy insurance salesman and I go very lightly kino her and break her free. Now as a four set we tour the hotel with a sales lady. I kino the 7 a bit more in the hallway walking down, and get her tangled up in these balloons they had spread out all over the place. The whole time is negs and laughter, although AFC dude's looking nervous like he has a lot invested in talking with this 7 and I'm fucking up his non-existent game. We tour a presidential suite, and I stand next to the windows to get a view of the harbor from the 7th floor (pretty sweet view). I motion to 7 girl and she comes bounding over beside me oozing with IOI looking at the view. After the tour, we all exchange biz cards and AFC dude splits abruptly, but 7 girl takes back her business card and writes her personal email on the back. Ding! They take off. I close up some business with an associate that I met up with there and head out myself.
Lessons learned:
I was only there two hours but I opened a lot (some was with guys but it was good practice), opened three sets with girls, #closed twice (granted the first close was with lesbians but hey whatever), and made some good business contacts. Not a bad night for sort of a last minute thing. They supposedly have these young professionals nights pretty regularly, so I'm definitely keeping my eyes out.
The one thing I noticed tonight that I have never felt before is I didn't have any approach anxiety at all. I just scoped out some targets, went up and extended my hand, introduced myself and started talking. By the end of the two hours I was on a roll and I didn't want it to end even though the place was emptying out. I know my game will need to be taken up a couple of notches in the club. Tonight everyone had on the polite appearance of a business person and the common goal of networking, so it was a pretty safe place to sarge. I also used it as an opportunity to practice being a wing, as I took my awkward friend around and introduced him to people I had just met. Probably scored some DHV and LOM points there, and opening up a set with a female right out of the gate probably helped with social proof, even if she wasn't that cute. In hindsight I could have moved her around the room and used her as a pawn to open sets, but her personality was so grating it became hard not to punch her.
One thing I didn't do is intentionally IOI the that massage therapist as we moved into A3 but I guess I didn't need to in this environment to still #/email close with her. I also need to work on routines and material so that conversation never drags.
So I start talking with a girl who's a little beastly but obviously fun. She has that "I'm from New York" bitch attitude going which I fucking hate. Every female New Yorker I've met outside of that state does it - they will never the hell shut up about being from New York. Whatever - she's mildly amusing to talk to and a boatload of a lot of fun to neg. She was the warmup convo.
I pass her off to some web designer guy and transition to open a nearby two-set of 20-something ladies who were sitting on a sofa chatting amongst themselves by a fireplace. Both were probably mid-20s and hot (8s) in an artsy chick sort of way. Instant rapport. Sadly, turns out they're very open about being lesbians (and girlfriends with each other) but both of them want me to quote some work for them for their respective businesses, so that was a score. They were very willing with their info, so maybe a threeway? Ha! The most hilarious thing was that during our interaction, this total AFC from a catering company barges in on our conversation like a total tool, drops two business cards on the coffee table for the ladies and ignores me then tries to just run away. I challenge him, saying "hey dude, you got a card for me?" He looks at the girls then gives me a completely chumpy shrug and smile. I whisper in a loud voice "dude, they're not interested in you," but Chumpy doesn't get it and the girls get a chuckle. Natural exit.
I did some business mingling with guys which was really good - got a lot of good contacts. After figuring I was done for the night, I spot and open a three set with two girls and a guy by approaching the guy first and introducing myself. I chatted with him a bit about his business, told him about mine, (he was an AFC but was trying very hard to act cool) and then segued into convo with the ladies. Turns out they're both massage therapists. Yah! And neither is with the guy - they all just met. One was a chub but pretty and the other one was slim but a weak 7 strong 6. AFC dude starts clamoring to go on one of the tours of the conference rooms/luxury suites, but 7 girl is now caught in convo by a creepy insurance salesman and I go very lightly kino her and break her free. Now as a four set we tour the hotel with a sales lady. I kino the 7 a bit more in the hallway walking down, and get her tangled up in these balloons they had spread out all over the place. The whole time is negs and laughter, although AFC dude's looking nervous like he has a lot invested in talking with this 7 and I'm fucking up his non-existent game. We tour a presidential suite, and I stand next to the windows to get a view of the harbor from the 7th floor (pretty sweet view). I motion to 7 girl and she comes bounding over beside me oozing with IOI looking at the view. After the tour, we all exchange biz cards and AFC dude splits abruptly, but 7 girl takes back her business card and writes her personal email on the back. Ding! They take off. I close up some business with an associate that I met up with there and head out myself.
Lessons learned:
I was only there two hours but I opened a lot (some was with guys but it was good practice), opened three sets with girls, #closed twice (granted the first close was with lesbians but hey whatever), and made some good business contacts. Not a bad night for sort of a last minute thing. They supposedly have these young professionals nights pretty regularly, so I'm definitely keeping my eyes out.
The one thing I noticed tonight that I have never felt before is I didn't have any approach anxiety at all. I just scoped out some targets, went up and extended my hand, introduced myself and started talking. By the end of the two hours I was on a roll and I didn't want it to end even though the place was emptying out. I know my game will need to be taken up a couple of notches in the club. Tonight everyone had on the polite appearance of a business person and the common goal of networking, so it was a pretty safe place to sarge. I also used it as an opportunity to practice being a wing, as I took my awkward friend around and introduced him to people I had just met. Probably scored some DHV and LOM points there, and opening up a set with a female right out of the gate probably helped with social proof, even if she wasn't that cute. In hindsight I could have moved her around the room and used her as a pawn to open sets, but her personality was so grating it became hard not to punch her.
One thing I didn't do is intentionally IOI the that massage therapist as we moved into A3 but I guess I didn't need to in this environment to still #/email close with her. I also need to work on routines and material so that conversation never drags.
Field Report #1 Sarging in places other than clubs
If you either live in a city with lousy night life or just don't like the atmosphere in discos and night clubs, let me just say that I'm with you brother. I don't think clubs are a great place to learn how to pick up girls for anyone (too loud, distracting, hard to work on your body posture, voice tone, etc. Also, I just don't like clubs so maybe I'm biased...
So anyway here's a field report from some light sarging in non-club atmospheres. I went out today for about 5 hours out in my city (Portland ME) and had a pretty good time. Sorry this is a little long. Maybe I included too much detail but I figured maybe it would help someone, and it is a pleasure for me to relive such a great day of my new hobby.
I started down in the Old Port section, which is an upscale shopping district with many boutiques. It's also the night club district. It was about 3:00 in the afternoon, none of the night clubs were open. A few of the brewpub places were open, at least the ones that serve food. But I didn't go there for those. The shops were my target.
The first shop I went into a was a bookstore that was having a clearance sale. The place was small but pretty crowded with people looking for deals. Lots of girls go to bookstores to shop - great targets in there. I selected a dark haired petite 9 and took up looking through bins of antique maps or something next to her. I made an offhand comment to myself but loud enough to for her to hear, something like "so what do we have here?". When she answered, I knew she was at least not actively disinterested. I got animated about a map that showed my old neighborhood in Boston and pulled it out to point at it. She turned round from her back facing me and looked me dead in the eyes and seemed genuinely interested. I didn't really have any canned material ready, I was just winging it so the conversation petered out pretty quickly. But that didn't matter - I wasn't there to get phone numbers, just to get out and start talking to hot girls. Walked around the other parts of the store for a while and left without buying anything.
My strategy with the supermarket is to grab a small hand basket, put one thing in it (usually wine - looks sophisticated, subtle DHV), and then walk up and down the aisles of the whole store talking to girls. When I get to the other side, I walk backwards through the store and get the items I need, re-meeting people I've talked to along the way. I break the ice with new girls by approaching to look at items on the shelf next to them and making some comment on an item - and in Whole Foods it's easy to find items that are utterly disgusting looking or outrageously priced or something easy to strike up a conversation with. The first girls I approached were a two-set in the tofu section, one was off the charts ugly but her friend was a 7-ish. I grabbed this container of what literally resembled a finely crafted, human turd floating in brown water. I don't even remember the name of it but it became a hilarious talking point and my shock/disgust registered to the two-set, naturally breaking the ice. It turns out it was some sort of fermented flour thing or something (they knew what it was). I negged the hotter girl by saying that she looked like the kind of girl who would eat something that looked like shit (laughter). Then I turned to the ugly one and DHV'd by saying that I make my own organic yogurt and granola (which is true), but even the worst batch never looked like *that*. The hotter one IOI'd by smiling and climbing back into the conversation asking how cool it was that I made yogurt and asked how I did it. After a little more chatting and an IOI back to her with a backhanded complement about her goofy winter cap, I naturally exited and went to the wine section.
There I started chatting with a solid 7 who was browsing for wine. I browsed around (intentionally towards her) and we met a section of boxed wines. I broke the ice by making a comment about the audacity of drinking wine from a box, and she took the bait, defending one particular boxed wine as being pretty good. I was able to get her to play questions with me a little bit about wine. She was holding an odd, brightly colored piece of paper with a bar code on it, so I asked her if she was on a scavenger hunt or something. She told me it was a pickup ticket from the flower shop, which she described as being "late for valentine's day" I interpreted this as "I have a boyfriend" but it didn't matter. I kept on chatting with her and she actually came onto me pretty strongly like the boyfriend didn't matter. She approached and got into my space a little bit to point out something about the wine, started sharing a lot of details about herself, etc. She was visibly thrilled that I put a box of her wine in my basket, and at a natural pause in the conversation I exited and finished walking the store. (I'm actually drinking some now as I write this, and damn if it's pretty good wine!)
After finishing the circuit with no other hot girls to talk to, I rounded back thru the store pick up a couple more items that I needed. Sure enough, I came back across the tofu two-set in the pasta aisle. I negged the hot one again by leaning in and loudly asking the ugly one if the hottie was following me, and then snipered her by craning my neck into their basket and asking her if she wound up buying the "shit salad". The beastly one laughed uproariously and Miss 7 IOI'd by flipping her hair and laughing loudly, correcting me and saying she only bought the tempeh. I gave them both a salute and walked away. I could hear them get giggly with one another as I walked away.
Buying my items and leaving, I decided to head to the local shopping mall. It's not a large mall, but it is the most upscale one in the area.
The mall has great stores to meet girls - clothing shops/department stores, jewelry stores, and shoe stores, spa/bath/soap shops, and these places didn't disappoint. My first stop was in a clothing store (Abercrombie and Fitch), and after a brief joke about how the place felt like a gay disco I got the cute 7 in the mens department to sniff my neck after I spritzed myself with some cologne. Her stunning petite little 9 friend played a silly game with me as took off my prescription glasses to try on sunglasses and then pretended my lack of glasses made me hard of hearing so I couldn't hear her when she said they looked good on me. Clothing stores are rough because the staff are always running with stupid headsets on around folding stuff so they don't really have time to chit chat. In another clothing store I got a very cute 8 girl working there all flustered when I pointed out it was like 2 below zero and she was wearing flip flops, and that all the clothing that they were selling was full of tears and holes and looked like it should be sent to charity. She was a little daft too but fuck man she was cute and she had a smile for me that lit up the room.
I browsed a few more stores uneventfully and then went to the big jewelry store in the mall, which was staffed by two girls - a slightly thickset but pretty 6 and a very pretty slim little 8. I broke the ice by asking them both if a lot of guys had come in the previous day to buy valentine's gifts for their wives. They took the bait and started questioning me about my wife. I waved a bare ring finger in front of them and they nodded knowingly. In hindsight I regret being as truthful as I was - I just told them I didn't have a wife instead of making them guess or being more playful with it. But that seemed to get Miss 8 to open up to me. When I continued the "gift for my Mom ploy" she jumped up to help me. I spent probably 20 minutes in that store talking with her and practicing body language and voice tonality. I looked down at her over my glasses (she was very short and petite) and she also bowed her head and looked up at me through her long eyelashes - fuck! Boner! Then I tried to kino her across the jewelry counter by making her place a very expensive necklace firmly in my hand before I would take it from her. She was wearing a very simple band that could have been an engagement ring, but it didn't matter to me at the time. I used the "have to talk to my father" ploy to start to leave without buying anything, but as I was leaving I asked her what her name was. She answered "April!" with a very perky response and I negged her a little bit by saying that was an unfortunate name because April in Maine is such a lousy month (cold and dreary). She laughed, flipped her hair, and IOId by reaching out to shake my hand. I shook her hand gently, gave her my name and told her I'd come back after talking with my father.
So all in all, that was a really good day - 8 sets, mostly singles but one two-set. I didn't get any numbers, but that wasn't my point. I just wanted to practice getting comfortable breaking the ice, starting conversations and letting them flow naturally. I need to work on my routines a little bit so I can keep the energy going. As I get more practice I'm going to up the stakes a little bit (get more phone numbers or escalate non-sexual touching a bit more)
So anyway here's a field report from some light sarging in non-club atmospheres. I went out today for about 5 hours out in my city (Portland ME) and had a pretty good time. Sorry this is a little long. Maybe I included too much detail but I figured maybe it would help someone, and it is a pleasure for me to relive such a great day of my new hobby.
I started down in the Old Port section, which is an upscale shopping district with many boutiques. It's also the night club district. It was about 3:00 in the afternoon, none of the night clubs were open. A few of the brewpub places were open, at least the ones that serve food. But I didn't go there for those. The shops were my target.
The first shop I went into a was a bookstore that was having a clearance sale. The place was small but pretty crowded with people looking for deals. Lots of girls go to bookstores to shop - great targets in there. I selected a dark haired petite 9 and took up looking through bins of antique maps or something next to her. I made an offhand comment to myself but loud enough to for her to hear, something like "so what do we have here?". When she answered, I knew she was at least not actively disinterested. I got animated about a map that showed my old neighborhood in Boston and pulled it out to point at it. She turned round from her back facing me and looked me dead in the eyes and seemed genuinely interested. I didn't really have any canned material ready, I was just winging it so the conversation petered out pretty quickly. But that didn't matter - I wasn't there to get phone numbers, just to get out and start talking to hot girls. Walked around the other parts of the store for a while and left without buying anything.
My strategy with the supermarket is to grab a small hand basket, put one thing in it (usually wine - looks sophisticated, subtle DHV), and then walk up and down the aisles of the whole store talking to girls. When I get to the other side, I walk backwards through the store and get the items I need, re-meeting people I've talked to along the way. I break the ice with new girls by approaching to look at items on the shelf next to them and making some comment on an item - and in Whole Foods it's easy to find items that are utterly disgusting looking or outrageously priced or something easy to strike up a conversation with. The first girls I approached were a two-set in the tofu section, one was off the charts ugly but her friend was a 7-ish. I grabbed this container of what literally resembled a finely crafted, human turd floating in brown water. I don't even remember the name of it but it became a hilarious talking point and my shock/disgust registered to the two-set, naturally breaking the ice. It turns out it was some sort of fermented flour thing or something (they knew what it was). I negged the hotter girl by saying that she looked like the kind of girl who would eat something that looked like shit (laughter). Then I turned to the ugly one and DHV'd by saying that I make my own organic yogurt and granola (which is true), but even the worst batch never looked like *that*. The hotter one IOI'd by smiling and climbing back into the conversation asking how cool it was that I made yogurt and asked how I did it. After a little more chatting and an IOI back to her with a backhanded complement about her goofy winter cap, I naturally exited and went to the wine section.
There I started chatting with a solid 7 who was browsing for wine. I browsed around (intentionally towards her) and we met a section of boxed wines. I broke the ice by making a comment about the audacity of drinking wine from a box, and she took the bait, defending one particular boxed wine as being pretty good. I was able to get her to play questions with me a little bit about wine. She was holding an odd, brightly colored piece of paper with a bar code on it, so I asked her if she was on a scavenger hunt or something. She told me it was a pickup ticket from the flower shop, which she described as being "late for valentine's day" I interpreted this as "I have a boyfriend" but it didn't matter. I kept on chatting with her and she actually came onto me pretty strongly like the boyfriend didn't matter. She approached and got into my space a little bit to point out something about the wine, started sharing a lot of details about herself, etc. She was visibly thrilled that I put a box of her wine in my basket, and at a natural pause in the conversation I exited and finished walking the store. (I'm actually drinking some now as I write this, and damn if it's pretty good wine!)
After finishing the circuit with no other hot girls to talk to, I rounded back thru the store pick up a couple more items that I needed. Sure enough, I came back across the tofu two-set in the pasta aisle. I negged the hot one again by leaning in and loudly asking the ugly one if the hottie was following me, and then snipered her by craning my neck into their basket and asking her if she wound up buying the "shit salad". The beastly one laughed uproariously and Miss 7 IOI'd by flipping her hair and laughing loudly, correcting me and saying she only bought the tempeh. I gave them both a salute and walked away. I could hear them get giggly with one another as I walked away.
Buying my items and leaving, I decided to head to the local shopping mall. It's not a large mall, but it is the most upscale one in the area.
The mall has great stores to meet girls - clothing shops/department stores, jewelry stores, and shoe stores, spa/bath/soap shops, and these places didn't disappoint. My first stop was in a clothing store (Abercrombie and Fitch), and after a brief joke about how the place felt like a gay disco I got the cute 7 in the mens department to sniff my neck after I spritzed myself with some cologne. Her stunning petite little 9 friend played a silly game with me as took off my prescription glasses to try on sunglasses and then pretended my lack of glasses made me hard of hearing so I couldn't hear her when she said they looked good on me. Clothing stores are rough because the staff are always running with stupid headsets on around folding stuff so they don't really have time to chit chat. In another clothing store I got a very cute 8 girl working there all flustered when I pointed out it was like 2 below zero and she was wearing flip flops, and that all the clothing that they were selling was full of tears and holes and looked like it should be sent to charity. She was a little daft too but fuck man she was cute and she had a smile for me that lit up the room.
I browsed a few more stores uneventfully and then went to the big jewelry store in the mall, which was staffed by two girls - a slightly thickset but pretty 6 and a very pretty slim little 8. I broke the ice by asking them both if a lot of guys had come in the previous day to buy valentine's gifts for their wives. They took the bait and started questioning me about my wife. I waved a bare ring finger in front of them and they nodded knowingly. In hindsight I regret being as truthful as I was - I just told them I didn't have a wife instead of making them guess or being more playful with it. But that seemed to get Miss 8 to open up to me. When I continued the "gift for my Mom ploy" she jumped up to help me. I spent probably 20 minutes in that store talking with her and practicing body language and voice tonality. I looked down at her over my glasses (she was very short and petite) and she also bowed her head and looked up at me through her long eyelashes - fuck! Boner! Then I tried to kino her across the jewelry counter by making her place a very expensive necklace firmly in my hand before I would take it from her. She was wearing a very simple band that could have been an engagement ring, but it didn't matter to me at the time. I used the "have to talk to my father" ploy to start to leave without buying anything, but as I was leaving I asked her what her name was. She answered "April!" with a very perky response and I negged her a little bit by saying that was an unfortunate name because April in Maine is such a lousy month (cold and dreary). She laughed, flipped her hair, and IOId by reaching out to shake my hand. I shook her hand gently, gave her my name and told her I'd come back after talking with my father.
So all in all, that was a really good day - 8 sets, mostly singles but one two-set. I didn't get any numbers, but that wasn't my point. I just wanted to practice getting comfortable breaking the ice, starting conversations and letting them flow naturally. I need to work on my routines a little bit so I can keep the energy going. As I get more practice I'm going to up the stakes a little bit (get more phone numbers or escalate non-sexual touching a bit more)
Friday, March 5, 2010
Everything You Thought You Knew About Internet Dating is Crap
I wrote this primarily as a response to so much horrible advice I've seen floating around the inter-tubes about online-dating, particularly from the dating sites themselves. So much of it is written from the perspective of the women or from the viewpoint of chumps who know nothing about actually going out and meeting girls. Just because you've watched two seasons of VH1's The Pickup Artist, does not suddenly make you a MPUA.
Internet dating is an art and a science. There are myths and maxims, half-truths and completely stupid ignorant advice that would fuck up even George Clooney's game. Follow these few pieces of wisdom from someone who's dated online since online dating started if you want the real skinny.
1. Everything you know about meeting girls on the Internet is wrong. So just stop. Stop before you do any more damage.
2. Meeting women online is like selling used cars on television. The only way you're going to get attention above the thousands and millions of other guys out there is to SHOUT really LOUD and wear the brightest colored suspenders. Once you have their attention, offer a compelling product and you will close some business.
3. Women turn to Internet dating for two reasons. One is that they are self-absorbed who feel they are "above" meeting men in pubs and lounges (or are too busy, or generally have extremely high bitch-shields, etc etc blah blah excuses excuses). Or, on the contrary, they do it because they have fragile egos and as much social anxiety as many chumpy guys. Pick the type women you want to go after in advance, because the approaches for meeting these two types of women are very different. Very beautiful women online may be very successful and busy (rare) but it's more likely that they are bored and looking to be entertained. You will get more attention from women if you give them something interesting and unique to read, perhaps at the same time chipping through that bitch-shield a little bit. As for the socially awkward girls, 99% of the time they are not hot but they're actually very easy to pick up.
4. Select the right site for your kind of game. Not all dating sites are structured the same. And some sites attract different demographics, so know the overall demographic of each of the major dating sites BEFORE you join and tailor your game to suit. For instance, Matchmaker.com is all cougars and divorcey types. OKCupid & Plenty of Fish are mostly teenagers and the under 25 set. A game that works well on Facebook is going to fail on Match.com. And both of those gambits would crash and burn on eHarmony. For a comprehensive list of dating sites and demographic information, click here.
5. While being truthful is important, the issue of truthfulness glosses over another very important aspect about dating - women are not that interested in your overall looks, age, weight, etc. so long as you telegraph confidence and strength. Being well groomed is important, as is having a good photo, etc. But if you're a strong personality and appeal to women through words, they will respond to it. All of a sudden things that men obsess about (looks age weight etc) are not that big a deal. YOU ARE A SEXUAL OBJECT. Communicate that with your profile and messages (within reason). You don't need to whip your penis out and beat a girl senseless with it in order to prove you're a man, however you risk being stuck forever in "let's just be friends" zone if you never telegraph sexual interest.
6. The amount that you communicate with each girl varies based on her personal style of conversation. Some are very chatty with lots of back-and-forth banter, some just want to exchange the facts. Some want to read a sweeping romance novel from you, and others have absolutely no creativity at all. Feel out the girl and respond in the way that responds to her - this is the beginning part of the seduction. Her profile is full of details. Just write to the details. If her profile is full of short, factual information, respond with short rapid-fire messages. If she's a budding Tolstoy, give your fingers a workout and start pecking out that novella. There is no set way to maintain communication once it's started, and no pre-determined number of messages required to get a girl to a date. Anyone who tells you that "I give up if we don't exchange numbers after 3 rounds of emails" is thinking only about himself and NOT LISTENING TO THE GIRL. The only way you know the right number is to read the situation and keep the energy level high, and keep steering it towards a meeting. If the initial energy wanes before it gets to a date, the chances were pretty good it wasn't going to get there in the first place. Which leads me to my next point....
7. Some women truly are just bored, and doing online dating sites as an interactive way of living out a scene romance novel. Women in this sub-class have no intention of meeting or dating men in real life. Maybe they're married or have boyfriends and are bored, but too chicken to step outside and cheat. It takes a little work to ferret these girls out, but usually after a few emails and photos are exchanged you can usually find out the real story. Once you know a woman is in pen-pal mode, get the hell out unless you like extra work writing witty emails for someone you're never going to meet. I've tracked it back over the years, and I found that nearly all of the girls who initiated communication with me led to dates, f-closes, and sometimes long-term relationships. Of the girls I contacted, very few responded and even fewer turned into dates. This isn't to say you should be completely passive, but you'll do much better (and exert less effort) if you put up a really spectacular profile and then let the women come to you.
8. Beautiful women get emailed a LOT by chumpy guys, so they're used to being told ENDLESSLY that they are beautiful and "hey would you please go out with me." This gets at a fundamental truth about all women who use the internet to date (even the ugly ones): Online dating validates a woman's sense of female power. If you fall into that trap of being Chumpy Guy #371 to contact them, then you may as well just give up and go back to wanking in the shower. Do not supplicate. This is not to say that you can't meet beautiful women online - I've met and dated several extremely beautiful HBs from online dating sites, but here is where selection of site and the quality of your message is crucial. Also think about your goals. ONLY focus on the hottest women for long term dating potential and settle for something less only if you're really hard up for getting laid.
9. Avoid "oneitis" in online dating. This is important so don't overlook this: THERE IS NO ONE 'PERFECT' GIRL ONLINE. Everything you read about a girl from her profile is an interpretation of reality inside your mind. The real person is always different, and usually not as good as the ideal you've built up in your head. If you idolize a girl as being perfect, the chances of you actually scoring with her decrease with every desperate supplicating email you send her. Remember: IT'S NO BIG DEAL. There will ALWAYS be a hotter, younger, kinkier, more fun girl than the object of your fixation. Keep your mind open so that when that next hot girl comes along, you're ready for her.
10. Keep it fun (cocky-playful), positive, and congruent. You have to raise some ire in order to get someone to respond, but be mindful of crossing the line into just being a dick. A funny joke about someone being unattractive is fine, but calling someone out for being fat or making a racist statement is not cool. Swearing is also a big no-no - you'll lose even fun girls right off the bat as soon as they see a swear word in your profile, because swearing in writing can be considered low class. There are so many interesting words to choose from in our language, save the four letter ones for poker night with your buddies. Congruency is also important to telegraph authenticity. If you come out a big-swinging-dick in your profile but your picture looks like you hide out mom's basement from playing World of Warcraft, you're authenticity is going to be suspect. Your whole image (words and images) needs to be consistently communicating the same message. Never self-deprecate or disrespect yourself in an online profile - it communicates weakness and low social value. YOU A MAN, THUS YOU ARE GODS GIFT TO WOMEN. Remember that and don't ever let anyone convince you otherwise.
A few additional tips:
Average = fat
Curvy = fat
A few extra pounds = really fat
Head shot photo only = fat
Head shot photo only focusing on forehead while looking up = really fat
I love "family" = I have a toddler at home that I'm not telling you about
Internet dating is an art and a science. There are myths and maxims, half-truths and completely stupid ignorant advice that would fuck up even George Clooney's game. Follow these few pieces of wisdom from someone who's dated online since online dating started if you want the real skinny.
1. Everything you know about meeting girls on the Internet is wrong. So just stop. Stop before you do any more damage.
2. Meeting women online is like selling used cars on television. The only way you're going to get attention above the thousands and millions of other guys out there is to SHOUT really LOUD and wear the brightest colored suspenders. Once you have their attention, offer a compelling product and you will close some business.
3. Women turn to Internet dating for two reasons. One is that they are self-absorbed who feel they are "above" meeting men in pubs and lounges (or are too busy, or generally have extremely high bitch-shields, etc etc blah blah excuses excuses). Or, on the contrary, they do it because they have fragile egos and as much social anxiety as many chumpy guys. Pick the type women you want to go after in advance, because the approaches for meeting these two types of women are very different. Very beautiful women online may be very successful and busy (rare) but it's more likely that they are bored and looking to be entertained. You will get more attention from women if you give them something interesting and unique to read, perhaps at the same time chipping through that bitch-shield a little bit. As for the socially awkward girls, 99% of the time they are not hot but they're actually very easy to pick up.
4. Select the right site for your kind of game. Not all dating sites are structured the same. And some sites attract different demographics, so know the overall demographic of each of the major dating sites BEFORE you join and tailor your game to suit. For instance, Matchmaker.com is all cougars and divorcey types. OKCupid & Plenty of Fish are mostly teenagers and the under 25 set. A game that works well on Facebook is going to fail on Match.com. And both of those gambits would crash and burn on eHarmony. For a comprehensive list of dating sites and demographic information, click here.
5. While being truthful is important, the issue of truthfulness glosses over another very important aspect about dating - women are not that interested in your overall looks, age, weight, etc. so long as you telegraph confidence and strength. Being well groomed is important, as is having a good photo, etc. But if you're a strong personality and appeal to women through words, they will respond to it. All of a sudden things that men obsess about (looks age weight etc) are not that big a deal. YOU ARE A SEXUAL OBJECT. Communicate that with your profile and messages (within reason). You don't need to whip your penis out and beat a girl senseless with it in order to prove you're a man, however you risk being stuck forever in "let's just be friends" zone if you never telegraph sexual interest.
6. The amount that you communicate with each girl varies based on her personal style of conversation. Some are very chatty with lots of back-and-forth banter, some just want to exchange the facts. Some want to read a sweeping romance novel from you, and others have absolutely no creativity at all. Feel out the girl and respond in the way that responds to her - this is the beginning part of the seduction. Her profile is full of details. Just write to the details. If her profile is full of short, factual information, respond with short rapid-fire messages. If she's a budding Tolstoy, give your fingers a workout and start pecking out that novella. There is no set way to maintain communication once it's started, and no pre-determined number of messages required to get a girl to a date. Anyone who tells you that "I give up if we don't exchange numbers after 3 rounds of emails" is thinking only about himself and NOT LISTENING TO THE GIRL. The only way you know the right number is to read the situation and keep the energy level high, and keep steering it towards a meeting. If the initial energy wanes before it gets to a date, the chances were pretty good it wasn't going to get there in the first place. Which leads me to my next point....
7. Some women truly are just bored, and doing online dating sites as an interactive way of living out a scene romance novel. Women in this sub-class have no intention of meeting or dating men in real life. Maybe they're married or have boyfriends and are bored, but too chicken to step outside and cheat. It takes a little work to ferret these girls out, but usually after a few emails and photos are exchanged you can usually find out the real story. Once you know a woman is in pen-pal mode, get the hell out unless you like extra work writing witty emails for someone you're never going to meet. I've tracked it back over the years, and I found that nearly all of the girls who initiated communication with me led to dates, f-closes, and sometimes long-term relationships. Of the girls I contacted, very few responded and even fewer turned into dates. This isn't to say you should be completely passive, but you'll do much better (and exert less effort) if you put up a really spectacular profile and then let the women come to you.
8. Beautiful women get emailed a LOT by chumpy guys, so they're used to being told ENDLESSLY that they are beautiful and "hey would you please go out with me." This gets at a fundamental truth about all women who use the internet to date (even the ugly ones): Online dating validates a woman's sense of female power. If you fall into that trap of being Chumpy Guy #371 to contact them, then you may as well just give up and go back to wanking in the shower. Do not supplicate. This is not to say that you can't meet beautiful women online - I've met and dated several extremely beautiful HBs from online dating sites, but here is where selection of site and the quality of your message is crucial. Also think about your goals. ONLY focus on the hottest women for long term dating potential and settle for something less only if you're really hard up for getting laid.
9. Avoid "oneitis" in online dating. This is important so don't overlook this: THERE IS NO ONE 'PERFECT' GIRL ONLINE. Everything you read about a girl from her profile is an interpretation of reality inside your mind. The real person is always different, and usually not as good as the ideal you've built up in your head. If you idolize a girl as being perfect, the chances of you actually scoring with her decrease with every desperate supplicating email you send her. Remember: IT'S NO BIG DEAL. There will ALWAYS be a hotter, younger, kinkier, more fun girl than the object of your fixation. Keep your mind open so that when that next hot girl comes along, you're ready for her.
10. Keep it fun (cocky-playful), positive, and congruent. You have to raise some ire in order to get someone to respond, but be mindful of crossing the line into just being a dick. A funny joke about someone being unattractive is fine, but calling someone out for being fat or making a racist statement is not cool. Swearing is also a big no-no - you'll lose even fun girls right off the bat as soon as they see a swear word in your profile, because swearing in writing can be considered low class. There are so many interesting words to choose from in our language, save the four letter ones for poker night with your buddies. Congruency is also important to telegraph authenticity. If you come out a big-swinging-dick in your profile but your picture looks like you hide out mom's basement from playing World of Warcraft, you're authenticity is going to be suspect. Your whole image (words and images) needs to be consistently communicating the same message. Never self-deprecate or disrespect yourself in an online profile - it communicates weakness and low social value. YOU A MAN, THUS YOU ARE GODS GIFT TO WOMEN. Remember that and don't ever let anyone convince you otherwise.
A few additional tips:
Average = fat
Curvy = fat
A few extra pounds = really fat
Head shot photo only = fat
Head shot photo only focusing on forehead while looking up = really fat
I love "family" = I have a toddler at home that I'm not telling you about
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